It's been a while since I've blogged... again. I seem to never have a free moment and if I do I can't see straight from being so tired. I don't want this to be a "complaining" post, but I have been so cranky recently... for me anyway.
I think it has to do with being so exhausted. It seems as though it has just been one thing after another- Daniela was here and I had malaria and the infection, and then immediately after that Pastor Dunn and Pastor Walker were here and I traveled to Ndola. Immediately after that Protasho and Patrick came and we had twice the school and then Anthony came and then I traveled to Livingston and 3 days after Anthony left Katherine came and we hit the ground running again. I have loved and appreciated having all of these people here... and I would do it all again exactly the same way (minus the malaria) but it is tiring doing your regular job and then also adding extra cooking, extra grocery shopping and the stress of keeping the house clean and making sure people who have come all this way are entertained and busy. It's easy to feel a bit overwhelmed.
I think any woman who has ever hosted anyone in their home understands the need to obsessively clean the bathroom and the kitchen and keep food on the table and keep people happy and busy.
Also, I am really missing my family and very much missing companionship. Somehow despite having these people in and out I am feeling more lonely than ever. Maybe it's the instability of it all... Even my freinds here are around me in cycles.... one month they are around the next they start a new job or start school and they are gone. That for me is difficult especially dealing with emotional instability.
I went to start the process of getting my lisence- We were supposed to leave at 9:30 and didnt leave until 11.... that's a whole other story (Zambians, in general, do not move on a very tight schedule). We got to the place and stood in line at counter 1 to ask where to go. She directed us to room something-or-other where we stood in line to ask him what the process was. Just before it was finally my turn to go in the guy "stepped out" with the man that was in there before me (i learned later they are at that point accepting a bribe to get a lisence without a test) so another ten minutes later I went in and sat down and after the formalities and greetings I asked him what the process was for getting a lisence and he tld me I needed copies of my passport and work permit and to apply at room 2.
So I went out and got Corry and Tickey and Katherine and we walked down the street and made copies then walked back and got in the line for the application. As I was sitting I realized everyone was furiously studying the "10 basic rules of driving" and an old man next to me said that you ahve to recite them in your interview or you can't apply so he shared his with me and we crammed while we sat. Finally I went in and my "interviewer" (Its a row of 4 people on one side of the table then the applicants sit across so theres no privacy at all) asked me where I was from and I said the US and he said "Oh! Washington!!" I said "uhhhh.... yea except..... Kentucky." He asked me what I do and I told him I work with orphans and vulnerable children. He said " I am a vulnerable man. Can't you bring me some mealie tomorrow?"
Sidenote** I cannot express to you how utterly TIRED and SICK of hearing those things I am. At first I used to laugh and make an excuse but now I want to punch people. I actually work with people who have nothing, and you are sitting at a desk in a paying job drinking coffee and eating scones. Gross.
So I had to pretend that I wasn't disgusted since he was in charge of giving me a chance at getting the lisence, so I said "Maybe I'll try to tomorrow" He seemed pleased with that and put my name in the book and told me all they'd have to do is transfer the lisence. He didnt ask me to recite any of the code but JUST as we were about to finish he said "Oh, but you have to get a medical exam at the hospital. Go have a doctor fill out this form and then I'll put you in the system." I wanted to scream
So I gathered the minions and we drove to the Universty Teaching Hospital, which I affectionately call "House of Horrers", and walked around for 10 minutes trying to find where we can take this test. Finally a nurse directed us and we went inside the building. we found the doctors door and there was a big white sign.
"Doctor's hours:
8:30-12
(12-14 lunch)
14- 14:30"
Yes folks. That's a 4 hour work day. Unfortunately it was 12, so we had to LEAVE the hospital and drive to the mall to get lunch. When we got back it was 14:30 (because, like I said, Zambia needs energizer batteries but runs on a fat guy pushing a broken wheelbarrow brand) but I marched in like I owned the place. I was seen by a nurse who asked me if i could see and then put down on the paper that I have 20/20 vision (not a joke). Then I went to the doctor who asked me If I had medical issues and I said no, so he signed it and gave me a bill for 11 dollars. Noone touched me, noone tested me.........................
When I went to pay the cashier asked me what I do and I said "Orphan care" and then he asked me to buy him a car. This time I said "Yea sure! I'll just use the money that was sent to feed starving children to get you a BMW" He told me he likes silver ones. He did not get my sarcasm.
SO we went back to the car place and got back in line for the same room.... finally i finished with that guy and he directed me to counter 24. I stood in line and struck up a conversation with a guy who asked me about work and everything. He was an older guy with white hair. I thought I was safe. WRONG! He finally asked me for my number. I said no but we were in a gated line and I couldnt get away and he was relentless so I told him I didnt have my phone (Lies, I had two and they were visible in my purse. oops) So I told him a fake number and then he CALLED IT and some zambian man answered. Oops again. Finally I gave him my MTN number and later that day he texted me and asked me to come to the gym with him. I blocked his number. Anyways so you go to that counter and they put the information in the computer and then she directed me to room 3 for my photo. On my way out a guy blocked my way and said he overheard my conversation and wanted my number too. I said No. He stood in my path and kept saying he wanted to come work with the orphans too and so I signaled Corry and Tickey with my eyes but they were talking to Katherine so i just pushed past him and cruised to room 3 leaving everyone in the dust.
After standing in line again, I went in and the woman mumbled something while stareing at her computer. I though she was greeting me so I said fine thannks. She continued with her computer then looked at me and with the NASTIEST face and voice said " I SAID take off your neclace and earings. PAY attention". I was so appaled at being yelled at like a child I didn't even know what to say so i let her take my picture in which I look like i'm about to cry, and then got directed to the payment counter. Someone was accepting a bribe again, so I had to wait twice as long, then I paid and was told to come back the next day to book my driving test. I asked why I couldnt book it today and she said "Come back tomorrow". Awesome. I have yet to go back.
On Tuesday I asked Corry to come with me to get an application from the University fo Zambia for one of our sponsored kids, Nathan. We left, as usual, 2 hours late and by the time we got there it was 15 minutes before 12 and the man had just "stepped out"... He wasn't going to be back until 14. I had had it with anything Zambian government run at that point so we just left.
It's easy to be frustrated. I can honestly say I spend 50 % of my life just WAITING around for things to happen. Waiting for people, waiting for offices, waiting for processes.... waiting. It wastes my time, my money, my fuel...
Enough complaint... that is just to explain the crankiness.... Work- however- is wonderful. The boys are reading like pro's and spelling machines! We have a new boy who just got in the car one morning when Protasho and Patrick got in and he's been coming to school ever since. His name is Mutale Mumba and he's 15. I am slowly milking his life story out of him but in the meantime we are keeping him close to us and out of the streets. We have been doing nothing but running around getting things done, teching, shopping, preparing..... Katherine is really seeing the work and I'm glad. We took Memory for a Cd4 count and the machine was broken... of course... so we had to take her again, but her count is in the thousands which means she is perfectly fine, for which we are VERY thankful (Wisdom's is below 300). We also got 2 bales of clothes yeaterday using the remaining money from Pr. Walker's church, that we will bring to Ndola with us. We opened them and sorted the clothes and we were all convinced there would never be enough for all of them.... in the end- everyone got 2 bottoms, 3 tops, and an extra bag with 2 bottoms and 3 tops for family members... AND we had 6 (SIX) large garbage bags full of leftovers AND another garbage bag of baby clothes that Katherine and Megan will take to a baby orphanage today. It was truly like Jesus feeding the 5000.
That's all I can think of really.... so much has gone on and I'm being terrible about being consistent with this so I know alot is missing.
Just know this. I love my children. I love that they call me mom and get upset if I don't see them for a day. I love that they know I care and that they know they can rely on me fully. I love them and they make me happy and they make ALL this other stuff MORE than worth it for me.
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
I dedicate my life to You. I dedicate my life to these, Your children.
I thought I'd take this time to tell a few stories of some of the kids so that those reading, praying and supporting can see the fruit of our labor through the words. I wish everyone could see these kids and their lives and daily hardships and battles first hand, but I will do my best to bring them to life here.
Kelley Chamoa is an 18 year old boy who's parents are drug addicts and alcoholics. He lives in a one bedroom shack secluded from the rest of the village with 5 brothers and sisters. He himself quit school and turned to alcohol and sniffing glue with friends... for three years. Last year, one of his friends tried to hitch a ride to town on a train, lost his footing and was killed. This reality hit Kelley hard and he was ministered to by Pastor Chirwa of the Faith Baptist Church in Kabanana where our orphans attend. He first began attending church there, and even started bringing his brothers and sisters and inviting friends. He asked our ministry for help in getting his life back on track and we are proud to say he is back into school- he has, on his own initiative, planted a garden for us to use for the sick orphans we care for and has recently approached Pr. Chirwa to be baptised and join the church.
^ shown showing off his new haircut!
Protasho Musara (15) and Patrick Banda (13) live with Protasho's mother along with Protasho's twin sister, Maggie. The mother is a bartender and an alcoholic. They recently were removed from their home and had to relocate. They are currently living in a rented room next to an open pit that the neighbors all use as a toilet. The stench is terrible and the living conditions are atrocious. They have been out of school for quite some time because the mother was using her money on alcohol. Their uncle came to us requesting that we assist them. When we tried to put them into school they were denied because they are far too old to be in the same grade as the other kids at their level. Neither of them could speak English or even spell their name. I began teaching them in January. On the first day of class they could not understand a word I was saying and could not recite the alphabet past the letter "c". They couldn't recognise their own names written down or name any of the numbers or letters. I am overwhelmingly proud (and typing with tears rolling down my face) to say that today they are reading simple sentences, writing letters to their sponsors and communicating full conversations with me in English. Today Protasho said "Madame, I am reading ChiZungu books. Oh and B-O-O-K!!" I had to laugh... they know me well as a teacher, spellings are music to my ears! (chizungu litterally means "big white" and they use it to refer to the English that Americans speak.) They have a lot of family trouble and Protasho is abused and "hated" (his word) by his mother because he has decided to go back to school instead of working for money. Last week their mother went away to a funeral in another village and left them with no food or water. She has yet to return.... we stocked their shelves and are regularly checking on them, but this shows you the extreme selfishness and ugliness of some of the guardians we deal with. Despite all of this, they come to Sunday school and church every Sunday and recently prepared a duet that they sang at a youth conference in front of over 100 people.
^ My sons! Can't you see the family resemblance? Because I can.
Nathan Tembo is our first ever grade 12 graduate. He comes from very poor living conditions with both a mother and a brother suffering from HIV and an unwed sister with a newborn. His home has been quite tumultuous of late with physical fights, beatings, arguments and general unrest. We decided to look into college for him since he, despite all of this, graduated with highest merits and honours from his school. Nathan went out on his own and got a job working as the natural sciences teacher at Raobath Academy. He will be applying at the University of Zambia in August with our help. We are overwhelmingly proud of him and... he is actually Geofrey's, another one of our orphans, teacher! How cool to see one graduate from the program and turn around to teach and mentor the next generation of orphans.
^Morgan, Kelley and Nathan... the three musketeers!
Morgan Tembo (Nathan's brother) has been one of our most challenging orphans. He was characterized by pride, stubbornness and lack of respect or self control. He was involved in physical fights with his sister and even beat his mother. He ran away from home after learning he was not blood related to the people he had grown up to believe were his mother and siblings. When he returned, he came with a terrible attitude of demands and self righteousness. Over the next months we came up with a plan of making him work to pay off his school fees. He washed my car every week, dug the foundation for the church building, helped Kelley with the garden, cleared the pastor's lawn and cleaned the church every Saturday to prepare it for service the next day. He has since apologised for his actions and through Kelley's (his best friend) good example and witness we see an amazing change and transformation in his character and attitude. He announced last week that he is a Christian and wants to attend baptismal classes.
Kaumba Mwondela is one of our brightest and most hard working orphans. He is in grade 8 and his teachers consider him to be one of the highest in his class, along with one of our other orphans, his best friend Tisa Sakala. He lives over an hour from the school that he attends and his living conditions are some of the worst. His room is a bare cement wall with a dirt floor. Before we sent blankets, he was using an empty cornmeal bag as a blanket and sleeping on the dirt. His parents both passed away and he is living with an uncle who could not afford to send him to school. He patiently waited and watched his cousins leave for school each day, and yet he stayed positive and helped his uncle by gardening and doing general repairs around the house. He has faithfully been coming to church even before we began to support him. When we handed out clothing earlier this year, he began giving some of his away to his needy friends before even looking to see what was in the bag. He is always encouraging the younger boys and is one of the first to always say thank you and be more concerned about others well being than his own.
^Kaumba outside his uncles home
Tisa Sakala lives in a one bedroom home on the busiest street in Chipata surrounded by bars and noise. She lives with her two cousins, her mother, her brother and her sister. They have no power or running water, like most of our orphans and they all sleep together in a small room. Their mother sells tomatoes but recently ran out of money and they were not eating for quite some time. Every day I pass by their home on my way home from work and see Tisa outside scrubbing clothes, cooking nshima, sweeping, bathing her brother or doing many other kinds of work. Many girls her age are out with friends or getting into trouble, especially in her are, but she is bound and determined to work hard to better her life. She is often sick, and is a tiny little thing for her age (she has the body of a 12 year old but is 18). She is dealing with a lot of stress and worry but she defies all odds and is at the top of her class of over 70 students. She has not yet professed Christianity but is open and willing to talk about it.
^Tisa and myself, sisters from another mother.
Barbara Mwamba was another "problem child" for us. She was failing almost every subject and her teachers told us she was lazy and uninterested. When confronted about it, she seemed cold and uninterested in what we had to say. We decided to give her one more chance and we switched her to a better school. I pulled her aside and told her I knew she wasn't lazy and wanted a better life for her and offered her extra help. She took me up on it and I have been tutoring her every Friday since. She is now... incredibly, one of our most determined and hard working students. Her teachers say she gets to school before they do and waits outside, and she is always the last to leave- except on Fridays when she has tutoring :) She has a million questions and is suddenly hungry to excel. All she needed was someone to believe in her and have a little faith in her and now the sky is her limit. She is happier, more joyful and is faithfully attending church. Her home life is terrible, her mother has been prostituting form the home and all but kicked the kids (her two brothers and one sister, who is HIV+) out to fulfil her own selfish desires. She made it clear she didn't want the kids and when they went to their older sisters home for help she accepted them, on one condition... that they work. They are worked like slaves at their sisters home and are physically and emotionally abused. One day Barbara was confiding in me and she started hitting the sided of her head and saying "she just screams at me... she screams and screams and screams..." ...To go through all that and then show up to school the next day early and with a smile on your face... that is the Grace of God.
^God love the girl for her positive attitude and sense of humor through the ugliness of her life
There are so many more examples... Sometimes it can be easy to only see the hardships and the need that we can't fulfill. I tend to become overwhelmed some days. There are nights when I fall asleep crying because I am in a bed with a blanket and my head in a pillow and I don't know where my children are, or if they are safe from harm, or if they are cold or if they had supper.... I can start to drown in the negatives and the deep emotions of this work and this ministry....
I wanted to write this both as an encouragement to myself and to all those who sponsor a child, or give or have given in the past. Our time and money is not being wasted, brethren. The naked are being given warmth, the hungry are being given nourishment, the sick and weak are being given medication and most importantly... lost and dead souls are being given life and orphans are being adopted into the family of the living God and they now have someone to call 'Dad'.
Your prayers are not in vain. Your gifts and donations are not given in vain. I smell and touch and see and hug and tickle and hold hands with and laugh with and cry with these children. They are my life and my life is a gift from God.
Kelley Chamoa is an 18 year old boy who's parents are drug addicts and alcoholics. He lives in a one bedroom shack secluded from the rest of the village with 5 brothers and sisters. He himself quit school and turned to alcohol and sniffing glue with friends... for three years. Last year, one of his friends tried to hitch a ride to town on a train, lost his footing and was killed. This reality hit Kelley hard and he was ministered to by Pastor Chirwa of the Faith Baptist Church in Kabanana where our orphans attend. He first began attending church there, and even started bringing his brothers and sisters and inviting friends. He asked our ministry for help in getting his life back on track and we are proud to say he is back into school- he has, on his own initiative, planted a garden for us to use for the sick orphans we care for and has recently approached Pr. Chirwa to be baptised and join the church.
Protasho Musara (15) and Patrick Banda (13) live with Protasho's mother along with Protasho's twin sister, Maggie. The mother is a bartender and an alcoholic. They recently were removed from their home and had to relocate. They are currently living in a rented room next to an open pit that the neighbors all use as a toilet. The stench is terrible and the living conditions are atrocious. They have been out of school for quite some time because the mother was using her money on alcohol. Their uncle came to us requesting that we assist them. When we tried to put them into school they were denied because they are far too old to be in the same grade as the other kids at their level. Neither of them could speak English or even spell their name. I began teaching them in January. On the first day of class they could not understand a word I was saying and could not recite the alphabet past the letter "c". They couldn't recognise their own names written down or name any of the numbers or letters. I am overwhelmingly proud (and typing with tears rolling down my face) to say that today they are reading simple sentences, writing letters to their sponsors and communicating full conversations with me in English. Today Protasho said "Madame, I am reading ChiZungu books. Oh and B-O-O-K!!" I had to laugh... they know me well as a teacher, spellings are music to my ears! (chizungu litterally means "big white" and they use it to refer to the English that Americans speak.) They have a lot of family trouble and Protasho is abused and "hated" (his word) by his mother because he has decided to go back to school instead of working for money. Last week their mother went away to a funeral in another village and left them with no food or water. She has yet to return.... we stocked their shelves and are regularly checking on them, but this shows you the extreme selfishness and ugliness of some of the guardians we deal with. Despite all of this, they come to Sunday school and church every Sunday and recently prepared a duet that they sang at a youth conference in front of over 100 people.
Nathan Tembo is our first ever grade 12 graduate. He comes from very poor living conditions with both a mother and a brother suffering from HIV and an unwed sister with a newborn. His home has been quite tumultuous of late with physical fights, beatings, arguments and general unrest. We decided to look into college for him since he, despite all of this, graduated with highest merits and honours from his school. Nathan went out on his own and got a job working as the natural sciences teacher at Raobath Academy. He will be applying at the University of Zambia in August with our help. We are overwhelmingly proud of him and... he is actually Geofrey's, another one of our orphans, teacher! How cool to see one graduate from the program and turn around to teach and mentor the next generation of orphans.
Morgan Tembo (Nathan's brother) has been one of our most challenging orphans. He was characterized by pride, stubbornness and lack of respect or self control. He was involved in physical fights with his sister and even beat his mother. He ran away from home after learning he was not blood related to the people he had grown up to believe were his mother and siblings. When he returned, he came with a terrible attitude of demands and self righteousness. Over the next months we came up with a plan of making him work to pay off his school fees. He washed my car every week, dug the foundation for the church building, helped Kelley with the garden, cleared the pastor's lawn and cleaned the church every Saturday to prepare it for service the next day. He has since apologised for his actions and through Kelley's (his best friend) good example and witness we see an amazing change and transformation in his character and attitude. He announced last week that he is a Christian and wants to attend baptismal classes.
Kaumba Mwondela is one of our brightest and most hard working orphans. He is in grade 8 and his teachers consider him to be one of the highest in his class, along with one of our other orphans, his best friend Tisa Sakala. He lives over an hour from the school that he attends and his living conditions are some of the worst. His room is a bare cement wall with a dirt floor. Before we sent blankets, he was using an empty cornmeal bag as a blanket and sleeping on the dirt. His parents both passed away and he is living with an uncle who could not afford to send him to school. He patiently waited and watched his cousins leave for school each day, and yet he stayed positive and helped his uncle by gardening and doing general repairs around the house. He has faithfully been coming to church even before we began to support him. When we handed out clothing earlier this year, he began giving some of his away to his needy friends before even looking to see what was in the bag. He is always encouraging the younger boys and is one of the first to always say thank you and be more concerned about others well being than his own.
Tisa Sakala lives in a one bedroom home on the busiest street in Chipata surrounded by bars and noise. She lives with her two cousins, her mother, her brother and her sister. They have no power or running water, like most of our orphans and they all sleep together in a small room. Their mother sells tomatoes but recently ran out of money and they were not eating for quite some time. Every day I pass by their home on my way home from work and see Tisa outside scrubbing clothes, cooking nshima, sweeping, bathing her brother or doing many other kinds of work. Many girls her age are out with friends or getting into trouble, especially in her are, but she is bound and determined to work hard to better her life. She is often sick, and is a tiny little thing for her age (she has the body of a 12 year old but is 18). She is dealing with a lot of stress and worry but she defies all odds and is at the top of her class of over 70 students. She has not yet professed Christianity but is open and willing to talk about it.
Barbara Mwamba was another "problem child" for us. She was failing almost every subject and her teachers told us she was lazy and uninterested. When confronted about it, she seemed cold and uninterested in what we had to say. We decided to give her one more chance and we switched her to a better school. I pulled her aside and told her I knew she wasn't lazy and wanted a better life for her and offered her extra help. She took me up on it and I have been tutoring her every Friday since. She is now... incredibly, one of our most determined and hard working students. Her teachers say she gets to school before they do and waits outside, and she is always the last to leave- except on Fridays when she has tutoring :) She has a million questions and is suddenly hungry to excel. All she needed was someone to believe in her and have a little faith in her and now the sky is her limit. She is happier, more joyful and is faithfully attending church. Her home life is terrible, her mother has been prostituting form the home and all but kicked the kids (her two brothers and one sister, who is HIV+) out to fulfil her own selfish desires. She made it clear she didn't want the kids and when they went to their older sisters home for help she accepted them, on one condition... that they work. They are worked like slaves at their sisters home and are physically and emotionally abused. One day Barbara was confiding in me and she started hitting the sided of her head and saying "she just screams at me... she screams and screams and screams..." ...To go through all that and then show up to school the next day early and with a smile on your face... that is the Grace of God.
There are so many more examples... Sometimes it can be easy to only see the hardships and the need that we can't fulfill. I tend to become overwhelmed some days. There are nights when I fall asleep crying because I am in a bed with a blanket and my head in a pillow and I don't know where my children are, or if they are safe from harm, or if they are cold or if they had supper.... I can start to drown in the negatives and the deep emotions of this work and this ministry....
I wanted to write this both as an encouragement to myself and to all those who sponsor a child, or give or have given in the past. Our time and money is not being wasted, brethren. The naked are being given warmth, the hungry are being given nourishment, the sick and weak are being given medication and most importantly... lost and dead souls are being given life and orphans are being adopted into the family of the living God and they now have someone to call 'Dad'.
Your prayers are not in vain. Your gifts and donations are not given in vain. I smell and touch and see and hug and tickle and hold hands with and laugh with and cry with these children. They are my life and my life is a gift from God.
Friday, April 22, 2011
They only asked me to remember the poor, the very thing I was eager to do...
Just a quick update on this week. On Monday we had a barber volunteer to come and give all the boys haircuts. The power went out at Fanny's where we were doing it so we had to load up and relocate to Maureens but luckily they all got new looks! (Some of the boys are away for the holiday, but those who were around all got their hair done. After that we brought a counselor and a social worker to the Tembo's so that they could try to convice her to at least let Wisdom take medicine. She is absolutely unshaken in this, and we left with little to no progress made. In fact, it seems Wisdom is even more on his mother's side on the issue now. We have another appointment next Wednesday.
We were given a donation by the Pizzino family as well as a friend, Daniela Ando, for us to use toward something the kids needed. On Tuesday, we went into town and purchased a bale (large bag of slightly used) of blankets. It is getting cooler at night and the kids don't have beds (as you can see, in one of the albums I took a photo of Kaumba's room) and some of them just sleep on the cold hard floor so we were able to give each child at least 2 blankets! We devided them up and labeled them and then Wednesday we set out delivering them. We were able to sit and talk with the families more while we made these deliveries.
On Thursday they were all supposed to leave for a 3 day vernacular confrence, but after they all gathered with blankets and toothbrushes and clothes in hand, the bus broke down and they all stayed in Fanny's house for the night! The kids were invited with their families, plus Fanny's family makes somewhere near 35-40 people sleeping in her little home! They were able to get packed up and head out this morning!
A few items for sponsor's knowlege and for prayer:
When we visited Everlyn's home we talked extensively with her Auntie and got some more personal information. When she was born, both of her parents died while she was still nursing. The Auntie took her in and is raising her as her own child- Everlyn is not aware that this is not her mother. The Auntie's husband (who Everlyn thought was her father) died a year ago so essentially she has been double orphaned and then single orphaned. Her Auntie sells water for money, and right now is a bad season for that. People are not buying because it's no longer hot and dry. Only one of the Aunties 3 real children is in school- he was supposed to graduate grade 12 but she was unable to pay for exam and school fees so he will not be finishing. The other two would be in grade 9 and 6 but are not attending due to finances.
Protasho and Patrick are being evicted from their home on the 30th of this month. Their rent has been 80,000 Kwacha (16 dollars) per month. The mother recently got a job and there is no reason she shouldnt be able to pay this. They are not telling us the real reason for the eviction but we have reason to believe that since I am seen there 3-4 times a week the landlord assumed I am giving them money (white person= money) and raised their rent to an amount they cannot pay. We cannot help them with rent, unfortunately, because if we did we would then be asked by every single family to pay their rent. They have told us they are not going far and I have decided to drop the boys off within walking distance of the home and try not to be seen there to save them from this happening again.
When we went to the Sakala's (the home of Faith, Tisa, Christopher, Harrington and Emmanuel- plus the mother/auntie) they were so excited to be recieving the blankets! They live alongside the road and it gets very cold there. They have a tiny little house and all 6 of them sleep together on the floor. The mother was holding one of the blankets and said "I am even salivating in anticipation of the sun going down just so I can use this blanket." We noticed the cupboard and shelves were empty and asked about food. They had nothing in the home but tomatoes. The mother sells tomatoes but since they are in season, they are not in high demand because everyone has them so they had no food to be seen. We immediately went to the market and got them mealie (cornmeal), fish, some vegetables, oil and sugar to stock the shelves. This woman is VERY determined to work and support her family and never asks us for anything, so it was nice to see her accept this gift with tears in her eyes. She wants to start a charcoal business (cold season is fast approaching so charcoal sells well) but doesn't have the start up money yet. Also, Tisa is having chest pain and racing heart beat every evening. She was taken to the clinic and her BP is very high so they are monitoring her and we take her back monday. It could very well be malnutrition and stress from her living situation.
Kaumba's roof blew off his house in a rain storm but he has been helping his father repair it with scrap metal and peices they find in the dumpster. They seem in good spirits and are working hard to repair the home before it gets cold. There are many holes in the roof so it will be very cold- they thanked us PROFUSELY for the blankets!!
Kelleys garden looks great and we found him and Morgan working on it together- the initiative these boys are showing is absolutely wonderful.
Lastly, there are photo's in the last album on my facebook of the plot where the church building/ ministry house will be. We are VERY excited and they begin building next week- praise God!
You can imagine how difficult it is to see this much need and feel a bit helpless at times. There is a never ending list of things that need to be/could be done for these kids and their families and neighbors and it can be so frustrating to not be able to do everything, but by God's grace we are at least doing everything we can- he is opening doors and creating opportunity for us to obey His word and care for the orphans and the widows and for that we are thankful!
We were given a donation by the Pizzino family as well as a friend, Daniela Ando, for us to use toward something the kids needed. On Tuesday, we went into town and purchased a bale (large bag of slightly used) of blankets. It is getting cooler at night and the kids don't have beds (as you can see, in one of the albums I took a photo of Kaumba's room) and some of them just sleep on the cold hard floor so we were able to give each child at least 2 blankets! We devided them up and labeled them and then Wednesday we set out delivering them. We were able to sit and talk with the families more while we made these deliveries.
On Thursday they were all supposed to leave for a 3 day vernacular confrence, but after they all gathered with blankets and toothbrushes and clothes in hand, the bus broke down and they all stayed in Fanny's house for the night! The kids were invited with their families, plus Fanny's family makes somewhere near 35-40 people sleeping in her little home! They were able to get packed up and head out this morning!
A few items for sponsor's knowlege and for prayer:
When we visited Everlyn's home we talked extensively with her Auntie and got some more personal information. When she was born, both of her parents died while she was still nursing. The Auntie took her in and is raising her as her own child- Everlyn is not aware that this is not her mother. The Auntie's husband (who Everlyn thought was her father) died a year ago so essentially she has been double orphaned and then single orphaned. Her Auntie sells water for money, and right now is a bad season for that. People are not buying because it's no longer hot and dry. Only one of the Aunties 3 real children is in school- he was supposed to graduate grade 12 but she was unable to pay for exam and school fees so he will not be finishing. The other two would be in grade 9 and 6 but are not attending due to finances.
Protasho and Patrick are being evicted from their home on the 30th of this month. Their rent has been 80,000 Kwacha (16 dollars) per month. The mother recently got a job and there is no reason she shouldnt be able to pay this. They are not telling us the real reason for the eviction but we have reason to believe that since I am seen there 3-4 times a week the landlord assumed I am giving them money (white person= money) and raised their rent to an amount they cannot pay. We cannot help them with rent, unfortunately, because if we did we would then be asked by every single family to pay their rent. They have told us they are not going far and I have decided to drop the boys off within walking distance of the home and try not to be seen there to save them from this happening again.
When we went to the Sakala's (the home of Faith, Tisa, Christopher, Harrington and Emmanuel- plus the mother/auntie) they were so excited to be recieving the blankets! They live alongside the road and it gets very cold there. They have a tiny little house and all 6 of them sleep together on the floor. The mother was holding one of the blankets and said "I am even salivating in anticipation of the sun going down just so I can use this blanket." We noticed the cupboard and shelves were empty and asked about food. They had nothing in the home but tomatoes. The mother sells tomatoes but since they are in season, they are not in high demand because everyone has them so they had no food to be seen. We immediately went to the market and got them mealie (cornmeal), fish, some vegetables, oil and sugar to stock the shelves. This woman is VERY determined to work and support her family and never asks us for anything, so it was nice to see her accept this gift with tears in her eyes. She wants to start a charcoal business (cold season is fast approaching so charcoal sells well) but doesn't have the start up money yet. Also, Tisa is having chest pain and racing heart beat every evening. She was taken to the clinic and her BP is very high so they are monitoring her and we take her back monday. It could very well be malnutrition and stress from her living situation.
Kaumba's roof blew off his house in a rain storm but he has been helping his father repair it with scrap metal and peices they find in the dumpster. They seem in good spirits and are working hard to repair the home before it gets cold. There are many holes in the roof so it will be very cold- they thanked us PROFUSELY for the blankets!!
Kelleys garden looks great and we found him and Morgan working on it together- the initiative these boys are showing is absolutely wonderful.
Lastly, there are photo's in the last album on my facebook of the plot where the church building/ ministry house will be. We are VERY excited and they begin building next week- praise God!
You can imagine how difficult it is to see this much need and feel a bit helpless at times. There is a never ending list of things that need to be/could be done for these kids and their families and neighbors and it can be so frustrating to not be able to do everything, but by God's grace we are at least doing everything we can- he is opening doors and creating opportunity for us to obey His word and care for the orphans and the widows and for that we are thankful!
Thursday, April 14, 2011
ALL THE TIME. God is good.
I am VERY TIRED and the last thing I want to do is write a big blog so here are the hilites of why this has been one of the best weeks ever- and why we should praise God together for his goodness... (as well as a prayer request).
In absolutely no particular order:
1. Protasho and Patrick are understanding and speaking English. It is not perfect and they need a lot of work- but they went from "How are you, Fine" being ALL they knew in English to carrying on full conversations in 3 months. They can also spell a lot of words and are starting to sight read. I am crying typing this.
2. Someone who cuts Megan's hair has offered to come give free haircuts for all our boys!! This may seem so silly but they need it and lice and head sores are an issue here so it's a blessing!
3. We had a "girls day" on Tuesday and I had a great opportunity to minister to the girls as well as have them open up a bit. We painted eachothers nails, ate brownies, talked about peer pressure &boys, and played with barbies. It was a complete success.
4. They began digging the foundation for our new building this week!!!!!!!!!!!
5. Someone from my home church sent another donation to me personally, which makes me able to fill my tank with gas and buy food so that I can better minister and spend more time with the kids. Praise God!
6. My friend who left gave some money for us to put twoards getting blankets for the kids, and one of the visiting pastors also gave money and together it covers the cost for a bale of blankets which will mean we can give each of our kids 3-4 blankets a peice! They sleep on the hard ground, and the season is shifting and getting cold so this is a HUGE deal and a load off our backs!
7. Today we had a "family lunch" and we cooked nshima, chicken, rape, eggplant and soup for the kids. They all got full bellies and left with big smiles- another huge success!
8. I hooked a sponsor up with two of our kids this week. One had the same birthday as her husband, and the other, who is a twin, has the same birthday as her own twins! Then I hooked up the last of the kids with another woman. This boy broke his hip and one of her children has had a broken hip also. This may seem odd- but to me it has God's handiwork written all over it. (as a side note, the two kids we have who have mental disabilities are both coincidentally linked with two families that have a disabled child. God is in control)
9. My relationships here are great and I am blessed with the most amazing friends and church family who are nothing if not the most loyal and amazing friends I have ever had.
10. I had the most wonderful time with Daniela and I was encouraged and refreshed by her visit. Also I am feeling 100% better!
As for the item for prayer:
Many of you have prayed for this family before (the Tembos). Wisdom is one of ours in our Kabanana/Chipata group who is HIV+. We took him for a Cd4 (white blood cell) count a few weeks back and they ran some tests on him to check his liver function so that we can get him on the proper medication right away. His count is VERY low and he is sick nearly every week with skin sores, coughing, vomiting and many other various ailments.
This morning I drove to Kabanana to pick him up and begin his treatment and his mother, Alice, said he "went to play" and it's too hard to find him. With his health, he rarely travels far from home so we knew she was avoiding the appointment. She got very heated and finally said that she refused to let us put him on medication. She herself is, by every calculation, suffering from full blown AIDS at this point, but still claims to be HIV negative. (She is tiny, weak, frail with sores and rashes all over her body- frequently ill) When we had first brought Wisdom to the clinic, the nurses pulled us aside and asked if the mother is on medication because by the looks of her she is in her very last days, and we had to try to explain that she insists that she is HIV-. She took away the medication they gave Wisdom before, and told us to "close the chapter" on asking about this for Wisdom, and that he can decide when he's older. Unfortunately- with his Cd4 count he will not make it to "older" to make that decision. She believes, and has brainwashed him also, that medicine is satanic, and HIV can simply be prayed away.
She is also asking us to tell her where he got HIV from since he is such a young boy (it was obviously mother to child transfer) and it is impossible to explain this to someone so far in denial. It was a very hard and emotional morning, to say the least. We left the home and went to the clinic to explain this to them and one of the counselors there offered to come and speak with her. We have an appointment on Monday to bring this counselor to her home. Please pray that she receives us and softens her heart.
Wisdom and Alice are both very sick, but Alice's pride is in the way of admitting she has this disease and finding help for her son. This is a huge burdon to us and such and emotionally taxing situation. Please pray that she will allow Wisdom to take medication, and even take them herself- and prolong her life so that she can better care for her children. (She is in her upper 30's and appears to be around 60.)
I know that God is in control of the situation. Please uphold it in prayer with me.
In absolutely no particular order:
1. Protasho and Patrick are understanding and speaking English. It is not perfect and they need a lot of work- but they went from "How are you, Fine" being ALL they knew in English to carrying on full conversations in 3 months. They can also spell a lot of words and are starting to sight read. I am crying typing this.
2. Someone who cuts Megan's hair has offered to come give free haircuts for all our boys!! This may seem so silly but they need it and lice and head sores are an issue here so it's a blessing!
3. We had a "girls day" on Tuesday and I had a great opportunity to minister to the girls as well as have them open up a bit. We painted eachothers nails, ate brownies, talked about peer pressure &boys, and played with barbies. It was a complete success.
4. They began digging the foundation for our new building this week!!!!!!!!!!!
5. Someone from my home church sent another donation to me personally, which makes me able to fill my tank with gas and buy food so that I can better minister and spend more time with the kids. Praise God!
6. My friend who left gave some money for us to put twoards getting blankets for the kids, and one of the visiting pastors also gave money and together it covers the cost for a bale of blankets which will mean we can give each of our kids 3-4 blankets a peice! They sleep on the hard ground, and the season is shifting and getting cold so this is a HUGE deal and a load off our backs!
7. Today we had a "family lunch" and we cooked nshima, chicken, rape, eggplant and soup for the kids. They all got full bellies and left with big smiles- another huge success!
8. I hooked a sponsor up with two of our kids this week. One had the same birthday as her husband, and the other, who is a twin, has the same birthday as her own twins! Then I hooked up the last of the kids with another woman. This boy broke his hip and one of her children has had a broken hip also. This may seem odd- but to me it has God's handiwork written all over it. (as a side note, the two kids we have who have mental disabilities are both coincidentally linked with two families that have a disabled child. God is in control)
9. My relationships here are great and I am blessed with the most amazing friends and church family who are nothing if not the most loyal and amazing friends I have ever had.
10. I had the most wonderful time with Daniela and I was encouraged and refreshed by her visit. Also I am feeling 100% better!
As for the item for prayer:
Many of you have prayed for this family before (the Tembos). Wisdom is one of ours in our Kabanana/Chipata group who is HIV+. We took him for a Cd4 (white blood cell) count a few weeks back and they ran some tests on him to check his liver function so that we can get him on the proper medication right away. His count is VERY low and he is sick nearly every week with skin sores, coughing, vomiting and many other various ailments.
This morning I drove to Kabanana to pick him up and begin his treatment and his mother, Alice, said he "went to play" and it's too hard to find him. With his health, he rarely travels far from home so we knew she was avoiding the appointment. She got very heated and finally said that she refused to let us put him on medication. She herself is, by every calculation, suffering from full blown AIDS at this point, but still claims to be HIV negative. (She is tiny, weak, frail with sores and rashes all over her body- frequently ill) When we had first brought Wisdom to the clinic, the nurses pulled us aside and asked if the mother is on medication because by the looks of her she is in her very last days, and we had to try to explain that she insists that she is HIV-. She took away the medication they gave Wisdom before, and told us to "close the chapter" on asking about this for Wisdom, and that he can decide when he's older. Unfortunately- with his Cd4 count he will not make it to "older" to make that decision. She believes, and has brainwashed him also, that medicine is satanic, and HIV can simply be prayed away.
She is also asking us to tell her where he got HIV from since he is such a young boy (it was obviously mother to child transfer) and it is impossible to explain this to someone so far in denial. It was a very hard and emotional morning, to say the least. We left the home and went to the clinic to explain this to them and one of the counselors there offered to come and speak with her. We have an appointment on Monday to bring this counselor to her home. Please pray that she receives us and softens her heart.
Wisdom and Alice are both very sick, but Alice's pride is in the way of admitting she has this disease and finding help for her son. This is a huge burdon to us and such and emotionally taxing situation. Please pray that she will allow Wisdom to take medication, and even take them herself- and prolong her life so that she can better care for her children. (She is in her upper 30's and appears to be around 60.)
I know that God is in control of the situation. Please uphold it in prayer with me.
Monday, April 4, 2011
Inevitability.
So, a childhood friend, Daniela Ando arrived on Satuday! She is a nurse and has come for the week to do some work in a local clinic.
I was unsure about getting to the airport so I enlisted the help of a freind but we were both running late and then we had to go through two police checkpoints so I was SO scared that we'd be late and she'd be there worried and confused but it turned out that we got there JUST as she was walking out so it was perfect timing. We spent the day relaxing and letting her get her bearings, and of course- catching up on the last 10-15 years!! I was feeling a little "off" but I thought it might be the excitement and business of running around and getting ready for her arrival.
On Sunday, we went to church and during the morning service I started to feel sick. I got up and sat outside for a bit, and then felt better but as soon as I went back in, I was feeling sick again. I just felt nausiated and dizzy. After the service, my friends Corry and Tickey escorted Daniela and I to a clinic near church to have me checked out but they were closed, so I decided to tough it out and we went back for a church lunch and evening service. On the way home, I knew I wasn't feeling right so I went to the 24 hour clinic (which happened to be the one Daniela would be working at) and asked for a malaria test. When I saw the doctor he ordered a slew of tests including blood and urine. Turns out I have malaria, as well as a UTI and my hemoglobin is extremely low which has been accounting for the dizziness.
I am really disappointed because this is bad timing with Daniela here- I wanted to be feeling 100% so I could be taking her around and spending more time with her and for her- but instead I feel like laying down all day.
Today was her first day of work, and I decided to take today and tomorrow off. This morning I woke up and did my laundry and then cooked breakfast and immediately started feeling awful. I had overdone it, yet again... it's so frustrating to be worn out from making eggs. I also took my pills (of which I have 13 per day to take.... 13!!!) before eating so I immediately got sicker.
I am really struggling with disappointment right now. I had so many plans of making this a great week for Daniela and being able to take her around places and spend time with her and I feel miserable. Honestly- the irritation is making me feel worse than the actual sickness. I keep trying to tell myself it's in my head but when I stand up and walk around my head starts to pound and my body just wants to sit. I know God has a reason for this and it all works in His plan, it's just far to easy to be angry that I'm sick!!
I plan to take tomorrow off as well- and Wednesday I will just have morning class with the boys, and then in the afternoon we will shop for some food. On Thursday, we plan to have a "Family Lunch" with all the kids and I am SO excited for it. Daniela will be coming along for the day and will get to see the kids and where I work. On Friday she leaves (SUCH a short trip!!) but she has already been a huge blessing and encouragement to me. I am VERY thankful for her being here!
I was unsure about getting to the airport so I enlisted the help of a freind but we were both running late and then we had to go through two police checkpoints so I was SO scared that we'd be late and she'd be there worried and confused but it turned out that we got there JUST as she was walking out so it was perfect timing. We spent the day relaxing and letting her get her bearings, and of course- catching up on the last 10-15 years!! I was feeling a little "off" but I thought it might be the excitement and business of running around and getting ready for her arrival.
On Sunday, we went to church and during the morning service I started to feel sick. I got up and sat outside for a bit, and then felt better but as soon as I went back in, I was feeling sick again. I just felt nausiated and dizzy. After the service, my friends Corry and Tickey escorted Daniela and I to a clinic near church to have me checked out but they were closed, so I decided to tough it out and we went back for a church lunch and evening service. On the way home, I knew I wasn't feeling right so I went to the 24 hour clinic (which happened to be the one Daniela would be working at) and asked for a malaria test. When I saw the doctor he ordered a slew of tests including blood and urine. Turns out I have malaria, as well as a UTI and my hemoglobin is extremely low which has been accounting for the dizziness.
I am really disappointed because this is bad timing with Daniela here- I wanted to be feeling 100% so I could be taking her around and spending more time with her and for her- but instead I feel like laying down all day.
Today was her first day of work, and I decided to take today and tomorrow off. This morning I woke up and did my laundry and then cooked breakfast and immediately started feeling awful. I had overdone it, yet again... it's so frustrating to be worn out from making eggs. I also took my pills (of which I have 13 per day to take.... 13!!!) before eating so I immediately got sicker.
I am really struggling with disappointment right now. I had so many plans of making this a great week for Daniela and being able to take her around places and spend time with her and I feel miserable. Honestly- the irritation is making me feel worse than the actual sickness. I keep trying to tell myself it's in my head but when I stand up and walk around my head starts to pound and my body just wants to sit. I know God has a reason for this and it all works in His plan, it's just far to easy to be angry that I'm sick!!
I plan to take tomorrow off as well- and Wednesday I will just have morning class with the boys, and then in the afternoon we will shop for some food. On Thursday, we plan to have a "Family Lunch" with all the kids and I am SO excited for it. Daniela will be coming along for the day and will get to see the kids and where I work. On Friday she leaves (SUCH a short trip!!) but she has already been a huge blessing and encouragement to me. I am VERY thankful for her being here!
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
" Why else would you be here?"
Today has been a good day. School with Protasho and Patrick went really well- not so much that they blew me away suddenly knowing English or anything... but we had fun and laughed and I could FEEL them learning things. I have learned to make everything.... EVERYTHING a competition for those two- and it tends to be quite humorous. The victor cheers himself out of class, and then the next day it's the other one and so on....
Also, we will be building soon for our ministry house. That may seem like a little thing but talking about it today Maureen, Fanny and I just cried! It has been stressful having some boxes piled in my house, boxes and bags at the Williamsons, and trying to do school out of two houses disruting their days... this ministry house is SUCH as huge answer to prayer. I am more than excited about it... just to have a small building that will be common ground (and to stop tripping over piles of books in my room!)
Tomorrow we take Wisdom to start him on his life long daily medication. We had his Cd4 count (white blood cell) count taken, and he was at 250. He should have been on medication when he got anywhere near or below 300- so this low number accounts for his frequent illness. It was a struggle to get his results (the first place lost his results and lied about it for 2 months, and the next place had "technical difficulty" but 3 tries later we are getting him settled with that tomorrow. )
This morning I was driving to work and in a roundabout, or circle, this woman- who was white- pulled right out in front of me out of turn and I slammed on the brakes and so did she cause she got scared so we were blocking traffic. To the man behind and the woman beside her, both Africans, she mouthed "sorry" and made a sad face while they beeped at her. When she turned to me, she got a smile on her face and waved. I thought this very odd. It was like she felt because we were both white we had some sort of secret comrodary. I was irritated (and also beeping) and she got almost a look of offense that I was not smiling and waving back. I was baffled. I have been thinking about it since. Should I have had some sort of connection to her? Honestly- I don't think so. I didn't see colour, I saw wreckless driving. I would have beeped if she was chinese or arab or made of skittles it didn't really matter.
It's weird to think about these things. On saturday I went with my freind Chanda to an art exhibit at the Swedish Embassy. Every single white person we saw smiled and said "hiiiii" to me like we were long lost freinds, but ignored Chanda. The only person who said anything to Chanda was one of the workers who greeted him in Nyanja but ignored me. I think this is still kind of racism. It may not be hateful or vengeful but it is classification due to race. Why can't the worker say "muli bwanji" to me? He has no idea if I've lived here a week or my whole life. Why should I determine my interaction level with someone based on race. In the states you say hello to people you know and not to people you don't. Imagine if someone went around greeting only the people of their same race in the US- it would cause an uproar.
It's just funny to me how people assume here. There are men who sell CD's on Cairo Road in town. They come to your window and say the names of the CD's they have. The other week, one guy was walking toward us and shuffled his collection then when he got to the window he said "Madame, Gospel??" Chanda laughed, and I asked why he was laughing and he said it was because he purposely put all the gospel in front of the rap and all the other stuff, because he knew I was a missionary.I asked... "What? How on earth could he know that??" And he said "Why else would you be here."
God is working in my heart as I deal with missing home and some relationship issues here. I caught myself feeling sorry for myself a bit and missing life as it was before- but that never seems to last long. I still feel a bit blue and I'm having some insomnia issues... but God has a plan and He's working it out His way. Thank goodness for that. I am considering this trial joy- it is producing endurance.
Also, we will be building soon for our ministry house. That may seem like a little thing but talking about it today Maureen, Fanny and I just cried! It has been stressful having some boxes piled in my house, boxes and bags at the Williamsons, and trying to do school out of two houses disruting their days... this ministry house is SUCH as huge answer to prayer. I am more than excited about it... just to have a small building that will be common ground (and to stop tripping over piles of books in my room!)
Tomorrow we take Wisdom to start him on his life long daily medication. We had his Cd4 count (white blood cell) count taken, and he was at 250. He should have been on medication when he got anywhere near or below 300- so this low number accounts for his frequent illness. It was a struggle to get his results (the first place lost his results and lied about it for 2 months, and the next place had "technical difficulty" but 3 tries later we are getting him settled with that tomorrow. )
This morning I was driving to work and in a roundabout, or circle, this woman- who was white- pulled right out in front of me out of turn and I slammed on the brakes and so did she cause she got scared so we were blocking traffic. To the man behind and the woman beside her, both Africans, she mouthed "sorry" and made a sad face while they beeped at her. When she turned to me, she got a smile on her face and waved. I thought this very odd. It was like she felt because we were both white we had some sort of secret comrodary. I was irritated (and also beeping) and she got almost a look of offense that I was not smiling and waving back. I was baffled. I have been thinking about it since. Should I have had some sort of connection to her? Honestly- I don't think so. I didn't see colour, I saw wreckless driving. I would have beeped if she was chinese or arab or made of skittles it didn't really matter.
It's weird to think about these things. On saturday I went with my freind Chanda to an art exhibit at the Swedish Embassy. Every single white person we saw smiled and said "hiiiii" to me like we were long lost freinds, but ignored Chanda. The only person who said anything to Chanda was one of the workers who greeted him in Nyanja but ignored me. I think this is still kind of racism. It may not be hateful or vengeful but it is classification due to race. Why can't the worker say "muli bwanji" to me? He has no idea if I've lived here a week or my whole life. Why should I determine my interaction level with someone based on race. In the states you say hello to people you know and not to people you don't. Imagine if someone went around greeting only the people of their same race in the US- it would cause an uproar.
It's just funny to me how people assume here. There are men who sell CD's on Cairo Road in town. They come to your window and say the names of the CD's they have. The other week, one guy was walking toward us and shuffled his collection then when he got to the window he said "Madame, Gospel??" Chanda laughed, and I asked why he was laughing and he said it was because he purposely put all the gospel in front of the rap and all the other stuff, because he knew I was a missionary.I asked... "What? How on earth could he know that??" And he said "Why else would you be here."
God is working in my heart as I deal with missing home and some relationship issues here. I caught myself feeling sorry for myself a bit and missing life as it was before- but that never seems to last long. I still feel a bit blue and I'm having some insomnia issues... but God has a plan and He's working it out His way. Thank goodness for that. I am considering this trial joy- it is producing endurance.
Monday, March 28, 2011
I shall not want.
Wow. It has been quite some time since I have blogged. Time keeps passing in this whirlwind of activity I tell myself I will update and then all of a sudden two weeks has gone by. I have been busy busy with the work here.
I am still regularly teaching Protasho and Patrick- they are doing so well, and are almost reading. Today Protasho spelled "apple" without any help! It can feel slow at times, but they are even communicating with me, or trying to, in english now. When we started "hello" was about all we could say to one another and now we are singing songs, playing games and reading books. They call me "Madam Mommy" (Mommy and Auntie are very respectful terms here) and once a week they buy me a fritter (which usually are covered in dirt and I can feel the sand gritting in my teeth when I eat them- I am sure they will be the death of me but I have yet to find it in my heart to say 'no thanks', so I muscle them down every week.)
Things with the other kids are going well. Teaching and tutoring can be tiring, especially with so many kids and so many different ages and ability levels, but I am soldiering on and praying for fruit. We have still had a few coming down with sickness here and there but thankfully nothing serious.
I am really looking forward to next week. A freind of mine, Daniela Ando, from when I was little and attending Albany Baptist Church is coming for the week to volunteer at a nearby clinic. I am really looking forward to having a girlfriend come and getting the opportunity to catch up and reconnect with the States.
I have been a bit down of late. I am really missing home and my family and freinds from the states. I don't have many close girlfriends here- whereas I was in a sea of gabbing girlfriends and sisters at home. I am more than grateful for the many freinds (who I honestly have to call family) God has blessed me with here- two in particular have really kept me happy and strong and smiling every day- they are the most wonderful people in my life and I would be lost without them.
It is a weird feeling I have. It's like an inner turmoil. I don't want to go back to the states. I know that's hard for my stateside family and friends to hear but I really and truly have found my home here in Zambia and I have no intention of leaving. I sometimes with I could just teleport back for just a week or two to see my family and kiss my neices and nephews and shop at walmart... the little things. I have plans to come home for Christmas but it's weird to think I have not seen my family and freinds for 7 months and won't see them for another eight months.
I really... really wish I could dance with my neice Cora or hear my Mom's "I am way too tired but I love my family" laugh and hug my sisters and my brother.... You really do not know what you had right at your fingertips until you live in a place where it's not possible to see them.
I think a mix of stress and work and anxiety about the future etc has got me in some sort of blue funk but luckily it usually only gets me for a few hours before I get a text or message from a freind here reminding me of the many blessings I've been given.
I keep getting asked how on earth I left a place and lifestyle like what I had before to come here and live how I am now and do what I am doing for no pay.
I love my work. I love these kids. I love that I spend 7 days a week thinking about them, planning for them, helping them, ministering to them ... living 7 days a week for 21 other poeple (not including my freinds and "family" here who I also live and breathe for) can be stressfull and exhausting and challenging and scary but I would not trade it for my old house and car and bank account for the world. I made my choice and God blessed it every step of the way, I know He won't stop now.
Psalm 73:26My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
My heart may be missing home, and my flesh may be tired and weary but HE is my stregnth and HE can never fail... therefore neither can I.
I am still regularly teaching Protasho and Patrick- they are doing so well, and are almost reading. Today Protasho spelled "apple" without any help! It can feel slow at times, but they are even communicating with me, or trying to, in english now. When we started "hello" was about all we could say to one another and now we are singing songs, playing games and reading books. They call me "Madam Mommy" (Mommy and Auntie are very respectful terms here) and once a week they buy me a fritter (which usually are covered in dirt and I can feel the sand gritting in my teeth when I eat them- I am sure they will be the death of me but I have yet to find it in my heart to say 'no thanks', so I muscle them down every week.)
Things with the other kids are going well. Teaching and tutoring can be tiring, especially with so many kids and so many different ages and ability levels, but I am soldiering on and praying for fruit. We have still had a few coming down with sickness here and there but thankfully nothing serious.
I am really looking forward to next week. A freind of mine, Daniela Ando, from when I was little and attending Albany Baptist Church is coming for the week to volunteer at a nearby clinic. I am really looking forward to having a girlfriend come and getting the opportunity to catch up and reconnect with the States.
I have been a bit down of late. I am really missing home and my family and freinds from the states. I don't have many close girlfriends here- whereas I was in a sea of gabbing girlfriends and sisters at home. I am more than grateful for the many freinds (who I honestly have to call family) God has blessed me with here- two in particular have really kept me happy and strong and smiling every day- they are the most wonderful people in my life and I would be lost without them.
It is a weird feeling I have. It's like an inner turmoil. I don't want to go back to the states. I know that's hard for my stateside family and friends to hear but I really and truly have found my home here in Zambia and I have no intention of leaving. I sometimes with I could just teleport back for just a week or two to see my family and kiss my neices and nephews and shop at walmart... the little things. I have plans to come home for Christmas but it's weird to think I have not seen my family and freinds for 7 months and won't see them for another eight months.
I really... really wish I could dance with my neice Cora or hear my Mom's "I am way too tired but I love my family" laugh and hug my sisters and my brother.... You really do not know what you had right at your fingertips until you live in a place where it's not possible to see them.
I think a mix of stress and work and anxiety about the future etc has got me in some sort of blue funk but luckily it usually only gets me for a few hours before I get a text or message from a freind here reminding me of the many blessings I've been given.
I keep getting asked how on earth I left a place and lifestyle like what I had before to come here and live how I am now and do what I am doing for no pay.
I love my work. I love these kids. I love that I spend 7 days a week thinking about them, planning for them, helping them, ministering to them ... living 7 days a week for 21 other poeple (not including my freinds and "family" here who I also live and breathe for) can be stressfull and exhausting and challenging and scary but I would not trade it for my old house and car and bank account for the world. I made my choice and God blessed it every step of the way, I know He won't stop now.
Psalm 73:26My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
My heart may be missing home, and my flesh may be tired and weary but HE is my stregnth and HE can never fail... therefore neither can I.
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