I really need to get more consistant with this blog. It is so hard because when I am finished work for the day the last thing I want to do is write it all down. I have been doing much better health- wise. I am sleeping again and the headaches are gone. I am still extremely tired and feeling worn out all the time, but I have come to find that is par for the course.
School is going well with the kids. Protasho and Patrick are improving slowly but steadily and they are learning quickly. The others are doing well also, and starting to really losen up and feel free with me- whihc makes my job so much easier. They love riding to and from "school" in my car and have been singing at the top of their lungs and dancing and everything- I want to video it one day.
The kids who were feeling sick have improved. Maggie is 100% healed although she has been left with some unfortunate scarring. Felix is doing much better and is back to school. Alot of the kids have flu and colds right now because our weather has been very strange (raining and cold one day and then 100 degrees and burning sun the next).
Things with Morgan have been touch and go. As many know, he was quite abusive to his mother, ran away and then came back and got in a fight with his sister wherein they again were physically abusive to the mother. He has since come to ask for forgiveness but we are between a rock and a hard place figuing out how to deal with the situation. Please keep us and them in your prayers.
This weekend, Maureen and I will be traveling to Ndola to see our kids there. It's my first time traveling that distance here, so keep us in your prayers for that as well- for both safe travel and a fruitful trip.
I have been thinking about how much my life has changed and how far I've come. It is truly amazing the paths that God takes us down. I was chatting with Fanny and her husband today about how things that were so "different" at first when moving here are so normal now. Sometimes (in fact, two weeks at a time) I have no hot water for showers. In the states I would have been in an uproar not having hot water for just one day and yet here on day 7 of an icy cold shower I am not even thinking that it's strange enough to complain about! I coexsist with cockroaches and spiders and grasshoppers... things that would have made me run and call an exterminator and now I just walk around them. I am always sweaty and have just adapted to carrying a cloth around to wipe my face with rather than complain about no fans or breezes... I don't have so many of the ingredients and things I am so used to for cooking, and yet I have made up some new dynamite recipes. I used to see something in a store and say TWO DOLLARS? that's a steal!, Now I see something that costs two dollars and I am appalled at how expensive it is. It is really funny to think about how perceptions on every single thing in life change.
Today, on my way to go teach Malama, I was stuck in traffic behind a white car. Behind me was a pickup truck, and behind that a bus (*shutter*). The bus was annoyed that the white car in front wasn't going around the block in traffic (which was a little boy pushing a wheelbarrow WAY over full of bottles of beer accross the street) and so He pulled into the other lane and overtook all three of us- not knowing that in the white car were two armed soldiers. WELL- needless to say the soldiers didn't take kindly to this and started screaming at him. They got past the block and swerved back around in front of the bus sideways and blocked both lanes. One of the soldiers got out, with his gun pointed and started screaming at the busdriver. It was very obvious that the soldier was drunk (this was 9AM) and they were yelling and spitting at eachother. It is common practice for a busdriver, when caught doing an offence like that, to be pulled in the street and publicly beaten as an example to the people around. The bus driver refused to get out. Seeing that it was going to be an issue, the soldier turned and motioned for me to go around the car on the other side to keep traffic moving. I slowly crept around just in time to see the busdriver pull around the other side and come parallel to me past the white car. At this point (with children and people EVERYWHERE around) the soldier started to open fire on the bus. I could not pull away as there were kids on the right of me so all I could do was step on the gas, but unfortunately the busdriver had the same idea so as this drunk soldier is shooting at the bus that is inches from me, people are scattering away and kids are crying- it was absolutely insane. I let the bus overtake me and when I saw which direction he was going I pulled off and went the other way as the soldiers were now chasing him down the road, with the one leaning out of the widow with his gun.
Now..... please do not think we see this every day. There are solders and police patroling ewith VERY large guns all over the place, but I had never actually seen one use it or been that close in proximity to a situation like that. Usually, like I said, a driver would just be publicly beaten in the street for such behavior. When I got to Fanny's I had sweat through my shirt- it really shook me up! God was protecting me, and the people around. Noone was hurt and hopefully it ended well- I didn't stick around to find out.
I am hoping to get some rest this week in preparations for travel and work this weekend in Ndola. (hoping...) I will update as soon as I get back!
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Sunday, February 6, 2011
The Sky is the Limit
It's been about two weeks since I've blogged... or had a moment to rest! (Or so it feels like!!) I am now tutoring full time. The way my schedule was worked out and what's REALLY going on is, as usual, two different stories. Saturday (the 29th) we had our monthly meeting and this time had a devotional and then an HIV awareness/education meeting. We will be taking all of the kids for testing soon so we wanted to make sure they were all up to date and informed. It went very well and the kids learned a lot and seem to be ready for this, which is good
Last week on monday I tutored Protasho and Patrick in the morning then got news that Felix wasn't feeling well so I cancelled afternoon classes with four of the others and took him to the clinic. He was put on injections (for 5 days) and other medications, but thankfully now it seems he is doing much better. He is supposed to go this week for a follow up (if he isn't better, it could be TB and we will have to get him to a hospital for chest XRAYs.)
The rest of the week and the tutoring went well, the kids seem excited and motivated with this extra help and I pray I will be able to assist them and boost them in their education. .It seems so funny to me to read this back and think of how it must sound to others, it doesnt seem like much- but the amount of driving and clinic visits and hours tutoring and talks and plans with Fanny and Maureen, then the lesson plans and purchasing food and bags and shoes and visiting families in between all that... It's insane. At the end of every day I am almost limping from exhaustion- only to go back and do twice as much the next day (because something ALWAYS comes up. Then I come home from a full day tutoring and doing these other things and answer emails and update spreadsheets and file reciepts.... The work is never done. Almost always I am waking up to a text of something more that we need to do, or as I am driving away to come home one of the kids will name another need they have. It's a constant stress headache. This is not to complain but rather explain my exhaustion- the work is litterally 24 hours. It's like I am mothering and teaching 19 children.
Protasho has a twin sister who we do not sponsor because she has stated she is uninterested in getting an education. He came to us telling us that she had sores and her skin looked like it was burned. I got to his house to take her to the clinic and went inside. My heart just filled with pain for them. She looked as though she had leaprosy. She was disformed with raised boils and sores all over her including her face and eyes, and was just laying on the solid ground wrapped in cloth.
She had gone to a nearby clinic when it started, but the only thing the mother could afford was the pain killers, so she had not been treated for the actual disease. She was diagnosed with small pox- which is a term they refer to any kind of "pox" but she has a bad case of it. She has been on injections 4 days now and seems to be doing much better. The boils have turned to mere bumps, but some of them unfortunately are leaving scars.
This morning I took her for her second to last injection, then picked up Kaumba, Richard, Mwansa and James and brought them to Mount Makulu (my church). They had a good time and seemed to get along with everyone, and are already asking to come along next week.
Next week will be just as full, if not more so, as this week. In addition to teaching and clinic trips, We have two more kids to enroll into school and I am making preparations for our Bible Study/ hygiene meeting and also my upcoming trip to Ndola with Maureen at the end of the month.
Next week also marks 5 months in Zambia. Almost half a year- it's hard to believe! This work of raising 19 children is challenging and exhausting and stressful and at times even frustrating, but there is nothing more rewarding than hearing Protasho read a sentance or Christian say the alphabet or seeing Maggie recover from a potentially fatal or disfiguring disease so quickly. I am here for a purpose that is so much bigger than me- and I am so thankful to have been designated by God to be put in this position. I know it's only through His strength and power that anything gets done, but I am telling you this- He is moving mountains in this place, one day at a time.
Last week on monday I tutored Protasho and Patrick in the morning then got news that Felix wasn't feeling well so I cancelled afternoon classes with four of the others and took him to the clinic. He was put on injections (for 5 days) and other medications, but thankfully now it seems he is doing much better. He is supposed to go this week for a follow up (if he isn't better, it could be TB and we will have to get him to a hospital for chest XRAYs.)
The rest of the week and the tutoring went well, the kids seem excited and motivated with this extra help and I pray I will be able to assist them and boost them in their education. .It seems so funny to me to read this back and think of how it must sound to others, it doesnt seem like much- but the amount of driving and clinic visits and hours tutoring and talks and plans with Fanny and Maureen, then the lesson plans and purchasing food and bags and shoes and visiting families in between all that... It's insane. At the end of every day I am almost limping from exhaustion- only to go back and do twice as much the next day (because something ALWAYS comes up. Then I come home from a full day tutoring and doing these other things and answer emails and update spreadsheets and file reciepts.... The work is never done. Almost always I am waking up to a text of something more that we need to do, or as I am driving away to come home one of the kids will name another need they have. It's a constant stress headache. This is not to complain but rather explain my exhaustion- the work is litterally 24 hours. It's like I am mothering and teaching 19 children.
Protasho has a twin sister who we do not sponsor because she has stated she is uninterested in getting an education. He came to us telling us that she had sores and her skin looked like it was burned. I got to his house to take her to the clinic and went inside. My heart just filled with pain for them. She looked as though she had leaprosy. She was disformed with raised boils and sores all over her including her face and eyes, and was just laying on the solid ground wrapped in cloth.
She had gone to a nearby clinic when it started, but the only thing the mother could afford was the pain killers, so she had not been treated for the actual disease. She was diagnosed with small pox- which is a term they refer to any kind of "pox" but she has a bad case of it. She has been on injections 4 days now and seems to be doing much better. The boils have turned to mere bumps, but some of them unfortunately are leaving scars.
This morning I took her for her second to last injection, then picked up Kaumba, Richard, Mwansa and James and brought them to Mount Makulu (my church). They had a good time and seemed to get along with everyone, and are already asking to come along next week.
Next week will be just as full, if not more so, as this week. In addition to teaching and clinic trips, We have two more kids to enroll into school and I am making preparations for our Bible Study/ hygiene meeting and also my upcoming trip to Ndola with Maureen at the end of the month.
Next week also marks 5 months in Zambia. Almost half a year- it's hard to believe! This work of raising 19 children is challenging and exhausting and stressful and at times even frustrating, but there is nothing more rewarding than hearing Protasho read a sentance or Christian say the alphabet or seeing Maggie recover from a potentially fatal or disfiguring disease so quickly. I am here for a purpose that is so much bigger than me- and I am so thankful to have been designated by God to be put in this position. I know it's only through His strength and power that anything gets done, but I am telling you this- He is moving mountains in this place, one day at a time.
Monday, January 24, 2011
Faith. Eff, Ay, Eye, Tee, Aych. Faith.
Today I started off the morning in the clinic again. After a few labs and some interrogation on if I was insane for moving to Zambia, I was told that the infection has not cleared and they precribed a stronger drug and then two others to combat the side effects of the first. Lovely.
After that joyful start to the day, I went to Kabanana. I pulled in to pick up my first two "students" of the day, Protasho (who's 15) and Patrick (who's 10). As I pulled up, they were smiling and waving- and they got in the car so happy and excited! They barely speak a lick of English but they WANT to learn, so I think they will be my most succesful students. We got to Fanny's, (we are using Fanny and Maureen's houses as school rooms until we can find a ministry house) and set to work. They insisted that they could read, but couldn't. Then I asked them if they knew their alphabet. They said they did so I asked them to write it. They both wrote "A... B... C" and then the tounges came out and the scratching of the head started. Patrick also wrote "F" after C, but that was the extent of their alphabet knowledge. We spent the rest of the morning learning letters and letter sounds, but they were eating it up and i could hear Protasho under his breath... "apple... ahhhppppuuuhhhllll... apple" Love it.
At lunch time I dropped them at home and then went to a safe place along the side of the road to eat my lunch and prepare for the afternoon lessons. I then went and picked up Harrington, Evelyn, Faith and Christopher from school. The school they attend is allowing me to take them once a week for extra tutoring. While I was there the headmaster called me into his office and asked me if our ministry could donate computers for the school because the kids need them etc. I was like, brother no can do from our specific ministry but I'll get the word out there (they really are good people and a good school) So- consider the word "out there".
I brought the kids to Maureens and we went over letter sounds and body parts and told them to bring their assignments and homework next week. So far, so good.
My weekly schedule looks like this:
Monday
(Once a month there will be Saturday meetings from 10-12 with the kids for Bible study and health/HIV education)
So, my schedule is somewhat consistent just the kids change. They rande from grade 1- grade 11. I haven't even put Nelia, Philip, Geofrey, or Joseph on the plan yet. Sigh. Please understand if I don't email you back for a few days, I am not ignoring you! This week and last I've had the added pressure of not feeling well, clinic visits, immigration visits (I go back Thursday, hopefully, to pick my visa up!) as well as clinic visits for two of the kids here in Kabanana and planning for the trip to Ndola next month. As anyone who's been there can vouch- just two hours in Kabanana can feel like an entire day, so I am ready to drop when I get home.
I am grateful to have work to do- it seems daunting and overwhelming now just getting into it, but it keeps me focused and on my toes. Just pray that I'll remain healthy enoguh to keep up the pace because if I slip up a day or two I get WAY behind. Luckily, I have great freinds here who have been calling and/or stopping by every day to check on me which is a great encouragement!!
After that joyful start to the day, I went to Kabanana. I pulled in to pick up my first two "students" of the day, Protasho (who's 15) and Patrick (who's 10). As I pulled up, they were smiling and waving- and they got in the car so happy and excited! They barely speak a lick of English but they WANT to learn, so I think they will be my most succesful students. We got to Fanny's, (we are using Fanny and Maureen's houses as school rooms until we can find a ministry house) and set to work. They insisted that they could read, but couldn't. Then I asked them if they knew their alphabet. They said they did so I asked them to write it. They both wrote "A... B... C" and then the tounges came out and the scratching of the head started. Patrick also wrote "F" after C, but that was the extent of their alphabet knowledge. We spent the rest of the morning learning letters and letter sounds, but they were eating it up and i could hear Protasho under his breath... "apple... ahhhppppuuuhhhllll... apple" Love it.
At lunch time I dropped them at home and then went to a safe place along the side of the road to eat my lunch and prepare for the afternoon lessons. I then went and picked up Harrington, Evelyn, Faith and Christopher from school. The school they attend is allowing me to take them once a week for extra tutoring. While I was there the headmaster called me into his office and asked me if our ministry could donate computers for the school because the kids need them etc. I was like, brother no can do from our specific ministry but I'll get the word out there (they really are good people and a good school) So- consider the word "out there".
I brought the kids to Maureens and we went over letter sounds and body parts and told them to bring their assignments and homework next week. So far, so good.
My weekly schedule looks like this:
Monday
- 7:15... Breakfast/devotional with the Williamsons (and Heather, for now!)
- 9:00-12:30... Drive to Chipata Village pick up Protasho and Patrick, drive to Kabanana, tutor them, then drive them home.
- 12:30.. lunch in the car
- 1:30-4:00... Pick up Evelyn, Harrington, Faith and Christopher from school, drive them to Maureens, tutor them then drop them off at home on my way home.
- 7:15... Breakfast/devotional with the Williamsons
- 8:30-11:30... Drive to Kabanana to tutor Malama and Morgan
- 11:30... Tie up any loose ends with Fanny and Maureen, visit anyone who needs visiting, take anyone to the clinic who needs it (obviously timing on this varies from week to week.
- ??-5:00... Return emails, update orphan profiles
- 6:00... Bible study
- 7:15... Breakfast/devotional with the Williamsons
- 9:00-12:30... Drive to Chipata Village pick up Protasho and Patrick, drive to Kabanana, tutor them, then drive them home.
- 12:30.. lunch in the car
- 1:30-4:00... Pick up Tisa and Kaumba from school, drive them to Fanny's tutor them then drop them at home on my way home.
- 7:15... Breakfast/devotional with the Williamsons
- 8:30-11:30... Drive to Kabanana to tutor Malama and Morgan
- 11:30... Tie up any loose ends with Fanny and Maureen, visit anyone who needs visiting, take anyone to the clinic who needs it (obviously timing on this varies from week to week.
- ??-5:00... Write weekly eports to orphan sponsors, financial reports/filing (as well as house cleaning and laundry!)
- 7:15... Breakfast/devotional with the Williamsons
- 9:00-12:30... Drive to Chipata Village pick up Protasho and Patrick, drive to Kabanana, tutor them, then drive them home.
- 12:30.. lunch in the car
- 1:30-4:00... Pick up Christian, Felix and Barbara from school, drive them to Fanny's tutor them then drop them at home on my way home.
(Once a month there will be Saturday meetings from 10-12 with the kids for Bible study and health/HIV education)
- In the morning I try to do something with friends
- 2:30... Young People's meeting at church
So, my schedule is somewhat consistent just the kids change. They rande from grade 1- grade 11. I haven't even put Nelia, Philip, Geofrey, or Joseph on the plan yet. Sigh. Please understand if I don't email you back for a few days, I am not ignoring you! This week and last I've had the added pressure of not feeling well, clinic visits, immigration visits (I go back Thursday, hopefully, to pick my visa up!) as well as clinic visits for two of the kids here in Kabanana and planning for the trip to Ndola next month. As anyone who's been there can vouch- just two hours in Kabanana can feel like an entire day, so I am ready to drop when I get home.
I am grateful to have work to do- it seems daunting and overwhelming now just getting into it, but it keeps me focused and on my toes. Just pray that I'll remain healthy enoguh to keep up the pace because if I slip up a day or two I get WAY behind. Luckily, I have great freinds here who have been calling and/or stopping by every day to check on me which is a great encouragement!!
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Faith is the promise of things hoped for, the evidence of things unseen.
Today. Today was rough. I started the day with my eighth consecutive freezing cold shower. I have been sick, and the medication they put me on seems to be making my headaches worse, my bathroom trips more often and I have this terrible taste of metal in my mouth that I can't get rid of. Basically- I started the day grumpy. I almost didn't go to Kabanana this afternoon, because of this headache that seems to want to persist 24/7... but I decided to just go for an hour- collect some info for my files then go full day tomorrow and Friday (I took the begining of the week off due to collapsing and sickness- and being told not to drive or work for 5-7 days. Yea right.)
Anyway, I sucked it up and went, and picked up Fanny and Maureen and we started the day. When I got there we first went to the home of the mother/auntie to four of the new kids we just added. We were getting some background info on the kids... two of whom there is no birth record and so no one knows their birthday or actual age. One of them has had sores since he was six months old. They come and go, and are now spreading throughout his body. I asked, in the 14 years he has had this problem, if he'd been treated or seen by a doctor. Basically she said they take him to the little clinics around, but they continue to give him the same medication that clears it for a while then it comes back- and they just do the same thing over again.
We then went to find another of the boys so we could let him know his tutoring schedule. We got as far as we could in the car and the neighbor laughed and made jokes about how it's a rare day that we find his mother sober (she was intoxicated to the point of not being able to communicate last time we went). Noone was home, so we left instructions for them to be there to meet with us Friday. This boy is 15 years old and has barely completed grade 3, due to running out of money at that time. He has a twin sister who did even less, and has no intrest in learning or school. This boy has asked that we please please help him because he wants to learn. Basically no schools will let him in, he is mature and could pass for 16 or 17 and is at about a grade 2 level. Psychologically that is just to hard, on top of learning challenges, for any kid. We agreed that I'd tutor him for this year, in hopes that we could get him in a higher grade, maybe even 5 or 6... If Richard and Mwansa can bump two grades each in 3 months, there's no telling where we can get him. He has a young brother who I'd like to have sit in on the tutoring- they'd end up at about the same grade level. The mother, like I said, is a drunk. They live in a 1 bedroom house and she often entertains men there overnight- all 3 of the kids are obviously old enough to know what's going on. It's painful to know they are living in this kind of environment...
From there we were driving and Fanny told of someone she knows, a 17 or 18 year old boy who was trying to jump on the back of a truck and got caught and was litterally torn apart. She said they couldn't have a coffin or funeral... they just had to put him in a bag and bury him. After she said that, Maureen said... Yes, And we will be burying my landlord this weekend. I was shocked. I just met her last week. She gave birth to a baby two weeks ago and had complications. When I saw her last she had just returned from the hospital and was saying she was feeling better... now she is gone, and there's a 3 week old baby being shipped of to an auntie somewhere.
We decided to go to All Efforts Academy. We had 6 kids enrolled there two weeks ago and wanted to see how they were doing. Basically, we were told they were struggling and really needed the tutoring, but I was encouraged that one of the teachers said he could see the potential, it just needed to be coaxed out of them. Much improvement from their last teacher who basically left it at "they are dumb and lazy so it's not our fault". We were about to leave when the headmaster asked us why some of the kids were coming without lunches. We were shocked because we bought the families food to last the month for lunches. She also said they missed school, and the excuse was "no clean clothes". We told them that and said we'd address it with the guardian and work it out.
We then went to find the guardian. The mother is very innapropriate, constantly having a string of strange men over to spend the night or leaving them alone so she can go spend the night with someone else. (we are talking about a 10 and 8 year old left alone in an ungated house in the compound...) Anyway, she wasn't around so we went to see the older sister. She has been paying rent for the mom and the four kids we sponsor, and covering any other needs. She told us her husband just lost his only source of income and that she was not paying rent or providing anythong for her mother, because she is aware of her lifestyle. She confessed that she used the food we bought for the kids to feed her family, because they are also starving and she's had some of the other kids staying in her home. She kept saying "This is not an orphanage. My marraige is failing and my family is suffering." Basically, the mom is getting kicked out of the house, and where she goes she will not take the kids. She doesn't want them. The sister has also said she doesn't want them because they are causing nothing but trouble and pain in her life.
What.... what does one do in this situation? Four kids. noone wants to take care of them. No one wants them. All I want to do is lay our sleeping bags all over my floor and pick them all up and bring them to live here- to get them away from these awful influences in their lives. No wonder it's so hard for kids to get a good education and get out of the compounds when they have people who bring them down and tell them they are stupid and give them examples such as these... or worse litterally abandon them. How can you convey God's love to a child who sees nothing but Satan's evil filth all day.
We also had two of the boys we just put into better schools come to us and tell us they want to go to their old school and that they'd go to their old school for a year and THEN we could talk about switching them. After a day like today I was thinking, really? You haven't been in school for two years, and have not had steady food or clothing for longer because no one could pay for you- and here I am... an American who left her life and home and car and comforts and family behind to live in a tiny house and shower with cold water and have stomach problems every day and people are paying for a uniform and a backpack and lunch and clinic visits and shoes and socks and notebooks and textbooks and christmas presents and you come to us and say that this better school with a better education is not what YOU want because you're freinds aren't there and you tell us where you'll go. what?!
I have to remind myself that this is really like parenting. Lots of times, we have to say no and the kid gets mad and pouty and maybe even runs away but you have to do what's right for them anyway... because they don't know what they're talking about- they haven't experienced life and don't realize what they are getting themself into. At the same time... God has the same relationship with us. He can see the future and we pray and pray and ask for something... but if it's not good for us he doesn't give it. And years later we say ahhhh ok, that's why that prayer wasn't answered. Really- we are supposed to be praying "Your will be done, not mine"... in which case if we are praying according to God's word all prayers will always be answered!
Today was a sobering day. My headache is worse and I am worried and stressed and overwhelmed... but I am here. I am here to tutor and to hug and to minister and to drive kids to the clinic and to give health education and encourage and love and teach and preach and most of all... to convey God's love to these children. It is sickening that in four months I love some of these children more than their own mothers and blood realtives do. How is it that I care more about their lives and health and future than their mothers and sisters and aunts?
"Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them- for the Kingdom of God belongs to such as these"- Mark 10:13 I pray that I not only let them come, but rather am used as a catalyst.
I need prayer.
"For the poor will never cease to be in this land, therefore I command you saying "You shall freely open your hand to your brother, to the needy and the poor in this world." Deuteronomy 15:11 Yes, Father. I will.
Anyway, I sucked it up and went, and picked up Fanny and Maureen and we started the day. When I got there we first went to the home of the mother/auntie to four of the new kids we just added. We were getting some background info on the kids... two of whom there is no birth record and so no one knows their birthday or actual age. One of them has had sores since he was six months old. They come and go, and are now spreading throughout his body. I asked, in the 14 years he has had this problem, if he'd been treated or seen by a doctor. Basically she said they take him to the little clinics around, but they continue to give him the same medication that clears it for a while then it comes back- and they just do the same thing over again.
We then went to find another of the boys so we could let him know his tutoring schedule. We got as far as we could in the car and the neighbor laughed and made jokes about how it's a rare day that we find his mother sober (she was intoxicated to the point of not being able to communicate last time we went). Noone was home, so we left instructions for them to be there to meet with us Friday. This boy is 15 years old and has barely completed grade 3, due to running out of money at that time. He has a twin sister who did even less, and has no intrest in learning or school. This boy has asked that we please please help him because he wants to learn. Basically no schools will let him in, he is mature and could pass for 16 or 17 and is at about a grade 2 level. Psychologically that is just to hard, on top of learning challenges, for any kid. We agreed that I'd tutor him for this year, in hopes that we could get him in a higher grade, maybe even 5 or 6... If Richard and Mwansa can bump two grades each in 3 months, there's no telling where we can get him. He has a young brother who I'd like to have sit in on the tutoring- they'd end up at about the same grade level. The mother, like I said, is a drunk. They live in a 1 bedroom house and she often entertains men there overnight- all 3 of the kids are obviously old enough to know what's going on. It's painful to know they are living in this kind of environment...
From there we were driving and Fanny told of someone she knows, a 17 or 18 year old boy who was trying to jump on the back of a truck and got caught and was litterally torn apart. She said they couldn't have a coffin or funeral... they just had to put him in a bag and bury him. After she said that, Maureen said... Yes, And we will be burying my landlord this weekend. I was shocked. I just met her last week. She gave birth to a baby two weeks ago and had complications. When I saw her last she had just returned from the hospital and was saying she was feeling better... now she is gone, and there's a 3 week old baby being shipped of to an auntie somewhere.
We decided to go to All Efforts Academy. We had 6 kids enrolled there two weeks ago and wanted to see how they were doing. Basically, we were told they were struggling and really needed the tutoring, but I was encouraged that one of the teachers said he could see the potential, it just needed to be coaxed out of them. Much improvement from their last teacher who basically left it at "they are dumb and lazy so it's not our fault". We were about to leave when the headmaster asked us why some of the kids were coming without lunches. We were shocked because we bought the families food to last the month for lunches. She also said they missed school, and the excuse was "no clean clothes". We told them that and said we'd address it with the guardian and work it out.
We then went to find the guardian. The mother is very innapropriate, constantly having a string of strange men over to spend the night or leaving them alone so she can go spend the night with someone else. (we are talking about a 10 and 8 year old left alone in an ungated house in the compound...) Anyway, she wasn't around so we went to see the older sister. She has been paying rent for the mom and the four kids we sponsor, and covering any other needs. She told us her husband just lost his only source of income and that she was not paying rent or providing anythong for her mother, because she is aware of her lifestyle. She confessed that she used the food we bought for the kids to feed her family, because they are also starving and she's had some of the other kids staying in her home. She kept saying "This is not an orphanage. My marraige is failing and my family is suffering." Basically, the mom is getting kicked out of the house, and where she goes she will not take the kids. She doesn't want them. The sister has also said she doesn't want them because they are causing nothing but trouble and pain in her life.
What.... what does one do in this situation? Four kids. noone wants to take care of them. No one wants them. All I want to do is lay our sleeping bags all over my floor and pick them all up and bring them to live here- to get them away from these awful influences in their lives. No wonder it's so hard for kids to get a good education and get out of the compounds when they have people who bring them down and tell them they are stupid and give them examples such as these... or worse litterally abandon them. How can you convey God's love to a child who sees nothing but Satan's evil filth all day.
We also had two of the boys we just put into better schools come to us and tell us they want to go to their old school and that they'd go to their old school for a year and THEN we could talk about switching them. After a day like today I was thinking, really? You haven't been in school for two years, and have not had steady food or clothing for longer because no one could pay for you- and here I am... an American who left her life and home and car and comforts and family behind to live in a tiny house and shower with cold water and have stomach problems every day and people are paying for a uniform and a backpack and lunch and clinic visits and shoes and socks and notebooks and textbooks and christmas presents and you come to us and say that this better school with a better education is not what YOU want because you're freinds aren't there and you tell us where you'll go. what?!
I have to remind myself that this is really like parenting. Lots of times, we have to say no and the kid gets mad and pouty and maybe even runs away but you have to do what's right for them anyway... because they don't know what they're talking about- they haven't experienced life and don't realize what they are getting themself into. At the same time... God has the same relationship with us. He can see the future and we pray and pray and ask for something... but if it's not good for us he doesn't give it. And years later we say ahhhh ok, that's why that prayer wasn't answered. Really- we are supposed to be praying "Your will be done, not mine"... in which case if we are praying according to God's word all prayers will always be answered!
Today was a sobering day. My headache is worse and I am worried and stressed and overwhelmed... but I am here. I am here to tutor and to hug and to minister and to drive kids to the clinic and to give health education and encourage and love and teach and preach and most of all... to convey God's love to these children. It is sickening that in four months I love some of these children more than their own mothers and blood realtives do. How is it that I care more about their lives and health and future than their mothers and sisters and aunts?
"Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them- for the Kingdom of God belongs to such as these"- Mark 10:13 I pray that I not only let them come, but rather am used as a catalyst.
I need prayer.
"For the poor will never cease to be in this land, therefore I command you saying "You shall freely open your hand to your brother, to the needy and the poor in this world." Deuteronomy 15:11 Yes, Father. I will.
Monday, January 17, 2011
I am a vapor in a wind storm.
Well, it seems time has finally caught up with me in the health department. Like I said, the stomach issues have been pretty consistant and I've not been sleeping well plus headaches, but I assumed it was stress related ... or just... living in Zambia...
This morning I had breakfast with Heather (oh yea, Heather is here! She came Thursday night) and the Williamsons and was fine so I went to Airtel (a phone provider, basically like a verizon store) to have them help me with my new phone. As the woman was talking to me I litterally started sweating buckets. In a matter of two minutes I had sweat through my shirt, and I was leaving drops of sweat from my face on the counter. The woman was like... "ummmm are you ok? It's not that hot and you are really really sweating..." My hair was starting to be wet from so much sweat so I told her i'd come back another time since I obviously had a fever that just broke and as I was saying the sentance BOOM. Next thing I know I am on the ground being slapped awake by the customer who had been behind me in line. They got me upright off the floor and gave me some water and led me to a chair and then the woman who's desk I was sitting at asked if I was pregnant because I hit the ground hard and as she was saying that... BOOM off the chair and back onto the floor. They left me there this time and just put a guy's sweatshirt under my head and tried to use my phone to call Megan (the security guard had taken my keys so i wouldnt drive) but i was having all sorts of issues witht he phone so after a bit I said I was ok, and was just going accross the street so they let me leave.
Luckily the security guard had rushed to grab my phone, keys and purse and held on to them throguh all of this for which I almost kissed them cause they could have been gone in 30 seconds. When I got home Megan firmly scolded me for driving after all that and then took me straight to the clinic where they did blood work and urine analysis... and it turns our I have a severe infection which is why I got the fever and everything. The doctor showed me my test results and told me what numbers I should have been at and where I was now. He said basically it's obvious that I've had this for a while and asked why I didn't do anything before. I told him I had no idea I had it and he said "have you had stomach issues? using the bathroom frequently? headaches? losing sleep? feeling nauseaus and dizzy?... (i said yes to all) and he said.... And you know that's not normal, right?" I told him, Sir- this is Africa, that's how I've been defining normal. My fever is at 102F and the headache is pretty bad so today I am just sleeping and finishing a few things for work from home.
This Saturday, I went to Munda Wanga with some friends from the youth group- Corry, Chanda and Janice. It's a zoo/botanical garden. It ended up POURING rain the whole day, but we had paid and commited so we walked around for about two hours- Chanda and Corry sharing one umbrella and Janice and I sharing the other. We all got pretty wet and muddy and then went to the Youth Group meeting after that. By the time we got home Corry had already gotten a fever and headache. I am sure the weather didn't help my situation much! Unfortunatley Christian, who I mentioned in the previous blog, did not come for the meeting or church on Sunday- I had really been hoping to see him.
This week I've got a lot planned with scheduling and organizing everything so that the following week we begin cruising through work like a well oiled machine. I pray that this medication heals me quickly and allows me to get moving on the things I need to get done.
Even as I'm writing that, I'm reminded of James 4:13 "Come now, you who say today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a place and spend a year there engaging in business and making profit. You do not know what your life will be like tomorrow- you are a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away. Instead, say, If the Lord wills we will live and also do this, or that."
His plan. Not mine. His plan. Not mine. His plan. Not mine....
This morning I had breakfast with Heather (oh yea, Heather is here! She came Thursday night) and the Williamsons and was fine so I went to Airtel (a phone provider, basically like a verizon store) to have them help me with my new phone. As the woman was talking to me I litterally started sweating buckets. In a matter of two minutes I had sweat through my shirt, and I was leaving drops of sweat from my face on the counter. The woman was like... "ummmm are you ok? It's not that hot and you are really really sweating..." My hair was starting to be wet from so much sweat so I told her i'd come back another time since I obviously had a fever that just broke and as I was saying the sentance BOOM. Next thing I know I am on the ground being slapped awake by the customer who had been behind me in line. They got me upright off the floor and gave me some water and led me to a chair and then the woman who's desk I was sitting at asked if I was pregnant because I hit the ground hard and as she was saying that... BOOM off the chair and back onto the floor. They left me there this time and just put a guy's sweatshirt under my head and tried to use my phone to call Megan (the security guard had taken my keys so i wouldnt drive) but i was having all sorts of issues witht he phone so after a bit I said I was ok, and was just going accross the street so they let me leave.
Luckily the security guard had rushed to grab my phone, keys and purse and held on to them throguh all of this for which I almost kissed them cause they could have been gone in 30 seconds. When I got home Megan firmly scolded me for driving after all that and then took me straight to the clinic where they did blood work and urine analysis... and it turns our I have a severe infection which is why I got the fever and everything. The doctor showed me my test results and told me what numbers I should have been at and where I was now. He said basically it's obvious that I've had this for a while and asked why I didn't do anything before. I told him I had no idea I had it and he said "have you had stomach issues? using the bathroom frequently? headaches? losing sleep? feeling nauseaus and dizzy?... (i said yes to all) and he said.... And you know that's not normal, right?" I told him, Sir- this is Africa, that's how I've been defining normal. My fever is at 102F and the headache is pretty bad so today I am just sleeping and finishing a few things for work from home.
This Saturday, I went to Munda Wanga with some friends from the youth group- Corry, Chanda and Janice. It's a zoo/botanical garden. It ended up POURING rain the whole day, but we had paid and commited so we walked around for about two hours- Chanda and Corry sharing one umbrella and Janice and I sharing the other. We all got pretty wet and muddy and then went to the Youth Group meeting after that. By the time we got home Corry had already gotten a fever and headache. I am sure the weather didn't help my situation much! Unfortunatley Christian, who I mentioned in the previous blog, did not come for the meeting or church on Sunday- I had really been hoping to see him.
This week I've got a lot planned with scheduling and organizing everything so that the following week we begin cruising through work like a well oiled machine. I pray that this medication heals me quickly and allows me to get moving on the things I need to get done.
Even as I'm writing that, I'm reminded of James 4:13 "Come now, you who say today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a place and spend a year there engaging in business and making profit. You do not know what your life will be like tomorrow- you are a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away. Instead, say, If the Lord wills we will live and also do this, or that."
His plan. Not mine. His plan. Not mine. His plan. Not mine....
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good.
I guess my once a week blog has turned into a once a month blog! I am going to try to fix that. I feel like life has been a whirlwind since Thanksgiving and I am still waiting for the dust to settle. I've had a lot of work within Kabanana. We added eight new kids to the program. We also decided to move all of the kids into better schools. We weren't satisfied with the level of care and education they were recieving so for the past few days I've been visiting schoools, finding out prices, paying fees, arranging for lunches and uniforms, buying backpacks and notebooks... it's been very busy. We did have to say though, that if we were still traveling by bus this would have taken us a month to accomplish- so God in His providence brought everything together at the perfect time.
Last week we took Richard and Mwansa to test into school. Richard was technically in grade 3, but performing at a grade 1 level. Mwansa was technically in grade 6 but performing at around grade 2 or 3. Neither of them could read or write sufficiently. As we were walking, Mwansa was holding my hand and she began to cry. I asked her what was wrong and she basically said she knew she was going to fail because she always failed in the past. I reminded her that God was in control and she'd do fine. They took their tests and I am overwhelmingly proud to say that Mwansa tested into 7th grade, and Richard tested into 5th! In 3 months of real close contact learning, we were able to get them reading, writing, multiplying, dividing and everything in between. I am so happy!!!
Also, someone from home sent money for me to get Richard a bike. When we used to pray after Bible class, I would pray for God to provide me with a car. When Richard saw that prayer answered he began fervently praying for a bike every day. I knew his mom had no money so I just let him keep praying half way laughing each time.... well one of my freinds from home caught wind of it, and sent the money for me to buy Richard a bike for Christmas. You should have been there to see his face and hear the screams of happiness...
Last week we took Richard and Mwansa to test into school. Richard was technically in grade 3, but performing at a grade 1 level. Mwansa was technically in grade 6 but performing at around grade 2 or 3. Neither of them could read or write sufficiently. As we were walking, Mwansa was holding my hand and she began to cry. I asked her what was wrong and she basically said she knew she was going to fail because she always failed in the past. I reminded her that God was in control and she'd do fine. They took their tests and I am overwhelmingly proud to say that Mwansa tested into 7th grade, and Richard tested into 5th! In 3 months of real close contact learning, we were able to get them reading, writing, multiplying, dividing and everything in between. I am so happy!!!
Also, someone from home sent money for me to get Richard a bike. When we used to pray after Bible class, I would pray for God to provide me with a car. When Richard saw that prayer answered he began fervently praying for a bike every day. I knew his mom had no money so I just let him keep praying half way laughing each time.... well one of my freinds from home caught wind of it, and sent the money for me to buy Richard a bike for Christmas. You should have been there to see his face and hear the screams of happiness...
This is honestly a reminder that no matter what, God provides. He answers prayer not just for food and clothes and shelter but every once in a while he throws in something special just to see and hear us laugh like this.
I have been feeling sick to my stomach a lot lately and had headaches and lack of sleep. This can be quite irritating with my living situation because if I wake up feeling sick in the night time I have to fumble around to find my shoes, then fumble around to find my keys then unlock my door, then I have to find the key for the padlock and unlock that. After that I have to unhinge the iron gate and walk outside to the toilet (most often in the rain these past few weeks). Then I come back and re hinge and close and lock everything only to get sick an hour later... It can be frustrating but I know I have it much better than lots of the people I live around and work with so I am thankful. Please pray that I'll have patience and joy in every circumstance.
Christmas and New Years were hard days for me, but I had new experiences (Spending Christmas day at a 3 hour church service then an outdoor barbeque with a family from the church- very unlike my cozy snowy christmases at home in my PJ's from the past!). New Years eve I went to an overnight prayer meeting which, to me, was the best way I have ever brough in a new year and I am very thankful to have gone and experienced it.
My car is being finally finished with the insurance and road tax being paid. I had an alarm system put on it yesterday for obvious reasons and I am very grateful for that, it will save me a lot of stress especially in the compounds. (another 1000 dollars I didn't budget in... sigh.. thankfulness.... thankfulness!) Also I finally got my water filter, My sister and brother in law sent me the funds and I was waiting for a shipment of them to come from South Africa and it's finally in my possesion (hoping this will help the upset stomach issues). I now have plenty of water... here's the look at the fidge:
This week I am finishing up the registrations and payments for the kids and making sure all of them are settled in school with everything they need and then next week I will begin tutoring. I am looking forward to it, and would ask for prayer that I would have wisdom and they would have the ambition so that together we can get them the best education possible.
God is teaching me a lot about patience this year, and I am thankful for the lessons. I tend to feel discouraged if things arent going the way I think they should RIGHT then. I have learned, though, that God really does have a plan for everything. He knows what he's doing and I have to stop trying to be in control- because it's in those times that I start messing things up. I know he has a plan for me... a GREAT one. There is no need for worry or impatience, only joy!
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she smiles at the future
Wow... turns out I haven't updated since November. So much has happened I don't even know where to begin. We traveled to Ndola and had our Christmas party there, as well as some necessary meetings. There were a few irritations along the way, mainly due to our skin colour... but for the most part we accomplished what we set out to do and were kept safe and healthy and so we thank God for that.
By way of example: When we visited the first house of some of the kids we sponsor, we found out two of the girls had not had chest Xrays done in a while. They are HIV+ and one has had TB in the past, so it was very important. We got to the first clinic and it was military owned, so they wouldn't let Megan and I in. They pointed at everyone else and said they could go but not us because we were white/foreign (without asking for any papers to see if we had Zambian citizenship or if Maureen and Lister might have been black Americans). They directed us to park in the visitor parking space and within 5 minutes another officer came to the car and told us we couldn't even park and wait there, but we had to leave and come back when they were done.
Later we went to the other clinic and the doctor refused to do an Xray. Megan finally convinced him to write a script for one, but he said he refused to read the Xray when we were done. So we finally got it done and then had to go around looking for someone to read it. In one hallway there were people waiting in line to see the doctor. I sat down in the middle of everyone with one of the orphans and Megan and Lister poked into the room to see if the doctor was willing to read the Xray (in which case we would have waited in line). He ended up just basically saying "sure, give it to me now" so I had to sit out in line with everyone audibly talking about how they can't stand how whites always jump in line and get special treatment and Americans think just because we have money we can do whatever we want at the expense of the Zambians... I wanted to crawl in a hole and never come out.
Another time we stopped for lunch and the call boys (who are basically hustlers) came up and told Megan they would watch the car while we got lunch. It was a fast food place and we could see the car so Megan said No thanks. The guy got a little upset but didn't say much. When we came out he said he'd watched the car and told her to pay him. She quickly shut and locked the doors and we pulled away. The man was yelling to the car in Bemba and Maureen said he was saying if he ever saw our car again he'd slash the tires because we didn't pay him what we owed him, when we so obviously had money. Because we're white... we "owed" him money for no reason.
On the way home, we brought a friend and her mother so they wouldn't have to ride the bus. The mother was looking for mushrooms that they sell along side the road so we stopped to buy some. The people SERIOUSLY overpriced them and would not come down. They litterally told her "If you are in the car with white people, you can afford to pay more". Sometimes our friends even get negative effects of being close to us- and I hate that.
So we had some issues along those lines, but the party with the kids and seeing them recieve (most of them) their first Christmas gifts was pretty great!
The weeks after we got home we had our party in Kabanana. It was equally wonderful and we had a great time. Megan explained snow and then read frosty the snowman and we all sang and opened presents it was very nice.
About two and a half weeks ago I was at Young People's group and everyone decided they wanted to have an overnight braai and we needed to raise money for it. I suggested we offer to people in the church that whoever needs house/yard work done, we'll come do it for donations. First, we painted a room here in my house (the one Maureen had been living in). We had a blast, and the next day we finished and then went to the next venue. A family in the church is having a new house built and septic tanks need to be put in so two holes neeed to be dug... 4 meters by 4 meters. In total, it took 6 days to do both and it was back breaking work. Most of us (especially those present for every single day) are bruised, blistered and completely worn out to the bone. I have some bad slices on my feet, horrible bruises ( that i had to explain to my freinds because they were completely horrified at my skin changing colours) and I am BEAT. I have been feeling sick the past few days so the 6th day of work I slept in the shade under a tree most of the day. (please note the progression of work)
It was a lot of fun and we have a lot of great memories but we are all WORN out completely. The braai is tomorrow and it should be a great time, we are taking today off so everyone can sleep and get ready for the braai.
In other major news of the month- I FINALLY got my car! There were about three weeks of delays and I had to practice extreme patience but it's here and it drives and it's mine and I am finally free to become more involved in the work in Ndola and Kabanana as well as church activities here, and becoming more part of the culture in general. It feels like a huge weight has been lifted off.
I am really looking forward to the coming year. There is a lot of work to be done and a lot of expansion opportunity with the work so I am ready to get into it full swing. It will be nice to have some fun times this week in preparation for the upcoming work starting in January. I have been missing my family, and I am very thankful for the Williamsons who are always taking care of me and making sure I am ok, and also for my family in the church here. This week is "family week" at church so they cancel the regular weekly meetings (bible studys and ministry meetings- everything except church) and you are supposed to spend the week visiting and ministering to family. When they announced it on Sunday I felt a pang of sadness and thought in my head... ugh those meetings are what keeps my mind OFF missing family and now I'll have it thrown in my face all week that I am without family.... quite the contrary.
I have been spending time at the homes of my brothers and sisters here and some very special people have planned it so that I am not alone on Christmas Eve or Christmas day. I am and I will be very well taken care of and I am feeling very loved and close to my new brothers and sisters here.
I do miss my family- and it's hard having this be my first time away from home. I pray that God will continue to bless me the way he has been and will watch over my family at home- many of them are having similar feelings and hardships this year and I know we are all sympathizing with one another from different distances. I love you all and I hope that everyone reading has a wonderful and blessed Christmas.
By way of example: When we visited the first house of some of the kids we sponsor, we found out two of the girls had not had chest Xrays done in a while. They are HIV+ and one has had TB in the past, so it was very important. We got to the first clinic and it was military owned, so they wouldn't let Megan and I in. They pointed at everyone else and said they could go but not us because we were white/foreign (without asking for any papers to see if we had Zambian citizenship or if Maureen and Lister might have been black Americans). They directed us to park in the visitor parking space and within 5 minutes another officer came to the car and told us we couldn't even park and wait there, but we had to leave and come back when they were done.
Later we went to the other clinic and the doctor refused to do an Xray. Megan finally convinced him to write a script for one, but he said he refused to read the Xray when we were done. So we finally got it done and then had to go around looking for someone to read it. In one hallway there were people waiting in line to see the doctor. I sat down in the middle of everyone with one of the orphans and Megan and Lister poked into the room to see if the doctor was willing to read the Xray (in which case we would have waited in line). He ended up just basically saying "sure, give it to me now" so I had to sit out in line with everyone audibly talking about how they can't stand how whites always jump in line and get special treatment and Americans think just because we have money we can do whatever we want at the expense of the Zambians... I wanted to crawl in a hole and never come out.
Another time we stopped for lunch and the call boys (who are basically hustlers) came up and told Megan they would watch the car while we got lunch. It was a fast food place and we could see the car so Megan said No thanks. The guy got a little upset but didn't say much. When we came out he said he'd watched the car and told her to pay him. She quickly shut and locked the doors and we pulled away. The man was yelling to the car in Bemba and Maureen said he was saying if he ever saw our car again he'd slash the tires because we didn't pay him what we owed him, when we so obviously had money. Because we're white... we "owed" him money for no reason.
On the way home, we brought a friend and her mother so they wouldn't have to ride the bus. The mother was looking for mushrooms that they sell along side the road so we stopped to buy some. The people SERIOUSLY overpriced them and would not come down. They litterally told her "If you are in the car with white people, you can afford to pay more". Sometimes our friends even get negative effects of being close to us- and I hate that.
So we had some issues along those lines, but the party with the kids and seeing them recieve (most of them) their first Christmas gifts was pretty great!
The weeks after we got home we had our party in Kabanana. It was equally wonderful and we had a great time. Megan explained snow and then read frosty the snowman and we all sang and opened presents it was very nice.
In other major news of the month- I FINALLY got my car! There were about three weeks of delays and I had to practice extreme patience but it's here and it drives and it's mine and I am finally free to become more involved in the work in Ndola and Kabanana as well as church activities here, and becoming more part of the culture in general. It feels like a huge weight has been lifted off.
I am really looking forward to the coming year. There is a lot of work to be done and a lot of expansion opportunity with the work so I am ready to get into it full swing. It will be nice to have some fun times this week in preparation for the upcoming work starting in January. I have been missing my family, and I am very thankful for the Williamsons who are always taking care of me and making sure I am ok, and also for my family in the church here. This week is "family week" at church so they cancel the regular weekly meetings (bible studys and ministry meetings- everything except church) and you are supposed to spend the week visiting and ministering to family. When they announced it on Sunday I felt a pang of sadness and thought in my head... ugh those meetings are what keeps my mind OFF missing family and now I'll have it thrown in my face all week that I am without family.... quite the contrary.
I have been spending time at the homes of my brothers and sisters here and some very special people have planned it so that I am not alone on Christmas Eve or Christmas day. I am and I will be very well taken care of and I am feeling very loved and close to my new brothers and sisters here.
I do miss my family- and it's hard having this be my first time away from home. I pray that God will continue to bless me the way he has been and will watch over my family at home- many of them are having similar feelings and hardships this year and I know we are all sympathizing with one another from different distances. I love you all and I hope that everyone reading has a wonderful and blessed Christmas.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)