Francis and things...

Well as expected, I didn't get the work permit Friday either. We went to the bank with James' signature on the paperwork to try to get the certified check and the woman said "This signature looks forged, we won't accept it" I was about ready to get up and go and she said "Since I know this is your money, I will make an exception." So she also said she'd rush it for us and we had 15 minutes, so we went outside to a man on the side of the road who was taking passport photos and I had them done also. So far, so good. We got to immigration with everything we were told to have and they said I also needed proof of education, my resume and a police clearance. (SIGH)

So we left there and went to the US Embassy. I walked up outside (you can't drive in) and there's like a drive in window- but no french fries inside. Outside is a bench of people who want something but can't get in...none of themwhite. I tell the man behind the counter that I'm American and he asks for proof and asked what do I want. I was super nervous (there's guards with guns watching you reach in your bag for your passport) and I said "Uh... er... well I need police clearance and I need the paperwork...." He asked me do I intend to live here, and I said, "Yes". He then looked at me and said (all of this without a smile or acknowlegement that I was more than some creep on the street) "Well what language do you intend to learn? I said, "Well... ummm... probably Bemba, but maybe a little Nyanja- I know some Tonga from visiting in Choma before..." And he started laughing and laughing. He said "Goodness, why are you scared? I am just joking around with you! I could see you were nervous so I am playing a joke- you're American- you can come inside."

Yea... So a guard opens the door for me and I had to give him my phone, then another guard looked through my purse and took my chapstick, visene and tootsie roll. In case I planned to chapstick someone to death I suppose. So then I went through a metal detector, was given a visitors badge and told to walk out the back door and to the building next door BUT I must only walk on the sidewalk, no stepping on the grass or road, no shortcuts, and stay in the view of the guards at all times. So I get to the next building and theres a waiting room of 15-16 people just sitting there. I wasn't sure if I should sit or just go to the window so I just walked up and said "Hello, I need..." The woman said, "Police clearance. Here's all your paperwork, this is how you fill it out, this is where you go and here's where to bring it when you're done." So she had it all organized and ready for me and put in a manila folder.... Organization- how I've missed you.

So next week I have to go get fingerprints taken and fill out paperwork and get ANOTHER certified check (for an amount less than I'll have to actually pay for the check) and then that process will be about a month.... THEN I'll have to go back to immigration and start over.

So after all that Maureen and I went to Kabanana. Most of the kids were in school (we got a late start because of the busy morning and Maureen was out all morning) so we got to see mostly the mothers, which was nice to get their side of things how the kids were doing. Francis happened to be home from school and we were there for about an hour talking with him and his mother. He was telling us about how he believed kid's didnt want to go to youth group because they werent baptised, and you have to be baptised to be saved. Well he then had a firing squad of Fanny, Maureen, me and his mother quoting scripture and explaining Gospel truths to him for a long time. It was good-- he was asking questions and we used scripture to back up what we were saying... Maureen prayed heartily for him (in Bemba, but I somehow understood it all) and then we decided to get home before it got dark (we had a 1 and a 1/2 hour bus ride ahead of us). Francis asked us if he could walk us to the bus, and I walked with him while Maureen and Fanny stayed behind. I got a great chance to talk to him about his faith, school, his plans and everything. It was a great talk on our 20 minute walk and he said "Thank you so much, Katryn, thank you for visiting today." (He's the only person here who calls me Katryn.)

He is a great kid. Pray for him as he deals with plans to be a pastor and peer pressure from kids at school. He has a HUGE heart- a very kind and sensitive soul. He could be such a great man, and I sense God has a hand of protection over him. I was sorry to not see most of the other kids, but glad we had this chance to have 1-1 time with Francis.

Needless to say that was an exhausting day. I came home and Megan invited me to dinner which was wonderful because I was STARVED (all that bussing... which I disslike greatly... and walking made me so hungry and thirsty) but really too tired to cook.

Friday was fun, we had a full day of school and in the afternoon for "home ec"/math we made chocolate chip cookies. We counted chocolate chips (they dont actually sell those here, so i had to buy a candy bar which was expensive and then cut it up into small chunks to spread the chocolate love) and separated them into groups and did multiplication and division and then studied measurements for the flour and sugar... and then ate :) . I was very much beat after yesterday and Friday and decided to just watch a movie and go to sleep. I borrowed Hotel Rwanda from the Williamsons and watched that... wrong choice. Watching that movie when you are IN Africa... it's just a heartbreaking film all around.

A girl from the church, Janet, stopped by and we chatted for a while. She invited me to sleep over next week some time and then I'll go with her to YP group at church on Saturday nights (Young People's... which is the newly marrieds, singles and college age). They are having rehearsals for the Christmas concert after YP and she asked if I'd like to join and I said of course! It will be good to be singing again. It was nice to have someone come visit for a while- and will be good to have people my age to befriend.

Today I spent most of the day with a woman my age from church named Patience. She's great, and we had a good time... we talked and watched movies... it was nice to just have a lazy Saturday but outside the house with a friend. It was very different culturally than spending time with a freind from home- but I am learning to adjust and not worry so much about it.

When I got home I walked to the market and got a few groceries (things go bad quickly here so you have to shop for less stuff but more frequently). It is HOT these days... today seemed especially hot- Patience said it had a lot to do with the kind of metal roofing she has on her house- which is the same as on mine. You just feel like your baking in an oven. I try to open the windows and pray for a breeze, but you are also inviting in all sorts of critters and bugs so you have to chose your battles. I think this week I'll get a fan- it has stopped being a wish list item and become a necessity of late.

I am looking forward to church tomorrow, and a day of rest and relaxation before the busy week ahead.

Love is patient...

If there is anything Zambia can teach you, it's patience. There are always lines at the market ( and I don't mean lines like "oh, that lady has 100 cans of dog food, I think I'll go to aisle 6 instead", I mean lines like you can't get to the bread aisle because there's so many people), transportation takes twice as long as you'd expect... you have to be patient with yourself and others as you try to understand one another through language and cultural differences.

Nothing ever just happens here. Everything's a process. You do not simply wake up and think, hmmm I need a toaster, and then go to the store and buy a toaster. You plan the day before: Ok, I need a toaster. Where can I find one. I am sure maybe this store or that store will have one. Any store withing walking distance? No. Ok so... I will need transportation. Who has the car? Should I take a cab... is it worth arguing with the cab driver who is trying to swindle you out of 20 bucks because you're white and he assumes you're made of money. No. Should I take the bus and use my ENTIRE day to get this toaster, or risk having it broken or stolen... no, no. I'll just wait and go to the store on Thursday. Thursday is when I will have a car available. Ok so Thursday rolls around (and most likely someone gets sick and the car is used to get them to the clinic and your shopping trip is ruined) but lets say that didnt happen. Lets say Thursday rolls around and the clouds part and you get in the car and drive to the store. Now you have to decide. Do I buy this toaster? The box is crumpled and its 4x more expensive than a toaster in the states... also it's a brand I don't recognize... will it work? Should I shop around..... Well you have to take these risks. So now you go home and you have a toaster and you are feeling MIGHTY proud of yourself until you get home and realize it's a toaster from South Africa with a different plug. You need an adapter. By now for sure someone else is using the car for something so you make a new plan.... tomorrow. Tomorrow I will get an adapter....

And on and on the story goes as you finally find a store after searching all over town that carries that adapter and then the plug doesnt reach and so you have to rearange the kitchen and put the table where you didn't want it and then when it's all said and done and you plug it in and the little light comes on and put your hands on your hips and smuggly think... I have a toaster. This toaster is mine. I worked for it... it's proof of my perserverence, and on and on you smile and laugh until you stop and realize... I don't even have any bread.

So you put on your shoes and in the 90 degree heat you walk and walk....

Like I said, everything's a process. And its not just toasters or bread. I, for one, don't even have a toaster, I've mastered using the one skillet that I own to make pizza and toast and eggs and chicken and spagetti and anything your little heart could desire. Ahh the milage I will put on that skillet...

Today we set off to get my workers permit. My visa runs out in 5 days and in all the hectic running around since I've come there's been no time to do it. So (After James got a call that he'd unexpectedly have to run out to Kabanana this morning, then get home in time to take Rick and GraceAnn to the airport then take the bus BACK to Kabanana so we could use the car....) Megan and I set out at around 12:15 to the Immigration Offices. We walked in the open door and everyone ignored us. Finally Megan got the attention of a man who told us I can't get a volunteer visa, and I need to get a work visa and blah blah blahhhh but we're closed. I looked at the open door, then back at him- then around the office full of workers, and we left. The man was less than kind- and clearly irritated at our very exsistance.

We were told to come back at 2:30. So we drove home, and I prayed. Please let the person we talk to be kind. Please let me be able to just get in and get out.... Please let it not be $400 dollars, because that's what was posted as the price on the wall) and then at 2:30 drove back.... to a line.

The place was packed and everyone's just milling about signing books and stepping on one another to get to the next person (imagine the DMV only with way more people who don't speak English and no signs, lines, or order. A litteral free- for- all) Luckily Megan was there... I was kindof just standing slackjawed.... she asked around to enough people that we finally got the proper form to fill out. I started to fill it out at the ONLY square inch of usable table space and I was told, "No, no, you have to fill that out at the reception desk (which was swarmed by 5 Asians, 3 Zambians and a handful of Indians. How, exactly, I was supposed to do that I have no idea.) SO I used the wall. Finally Megan got us a desk with a person ready to help. And ya know what- she was NICE. She explained exactly what I needed to do. I needed a certified check for 500,000 kwacha ( $108... not $400 thank you, God.) and two passport photos. I also am supposed to have a police clearance but she said she was sure they'd wave that since I'm not being payed (PRAY) With all that I could file my application, they give me a temporary visa until I get my work permit in 2-3 weeks. Great right?

Don't be silly- the story's not over. So we stopped at the bank. I need a certified check. I had the cash in hand and I was ready to just sign my name and get a check (funny, right?). Well they said since I don't have an account I could deposit the money in Megan's account and then apply for the check (yes, apply) and then tomorrow come pick it up. Well. Megan didn't have her card so the man found her numbers... ah but I had $100 cash... dollars. They wanted kwacha, so we went to another counter and waited. With the exchange rate 500,000 is about 108 dollars so I went in my purse and got my 100 dollar bill and low and behold- eight singles exactly. (God's way of saying "I may be making you work for this, but I'm taking care of you nonetheless"). So we exchanged the money and deposited it into Megan's account. Then we find out that to even get a check is 80,000 kwacha, which is about 16 dollars- so we deposit that too. So now we are ushered to a third desk where we fill out the paperwork and everythings almost done and THEN she asks... why does this say James Williamson? Megan explained it's her husband and the woman says. OH! Well then we can't do this. He has to be here to sign it. (woomp woommmp)

So we left there... and essentially have nothing to show for our time out EXCEPT... we have a plan for tomorrow... and where there's a will- there's a way.

Ups and Downs

The past few days have been an emotional roller coaster. I had a hard time with teaching this week. I'm not sure why but its been really hard to get Richard especially focused and get them both back on track. It's so discouraging when you teach them over and over the same thing and at the end of the day they act like they've never heard that before in their life. They both speak English great, and are both smart kids but they cannot read or write English at all, and because they are smart and advanced they get bored of learning letter sounds and writing and then just check out... it makes for long days.

On Thursday after school Rick, Megan and I drove out to Kabanana (interesting fact: “Ka” means “little” so Kabanana means “little banana”) to visit the orphans. We first picked up Fanny and then went to her neighbor's house. Three of the children we support live there. We got a chance to talk to two of the children, Nelia and Joseph, and their mother but Felix was still at school. We then went over to see the Tembos. They are a fun family. I really enjoy talking to them and am looking forward to forming friendships with the kids. We found Wisdom in great health and acting goofy and laughing... what you want to see when you visit a child. Thank you all for your prayers for him. Rick's son Gabe has been writing Nathan so it was neat to get to see him meet and talk to the father of this pen pal he has- makes it all a little more real. We then went to visit the last family. Memory and Barbara were at school but we got to visit Christian and Francis. I really, really like Francis. He's 16 and wants to be a pastor. He is just one of those people who naturally seems to have a big heart. He's very caring and kind, and very personable, he'd chat for hours if you let him.

I am really looking forward to getting elbow deep in this work. I want to get to know them as kids, and have more chances to really talk to them and know them as people. Paying school fees is one thing but having someone counsel you and give advice and truly care about you as a person takes it to another level. It will help so much to keep them in contact with their sponsors so they can get to know them as well, and better know how to pray for them. All of them have major exams starting in two weeks. It's kind of the “do you move on or drop out” exams for a lot of these kids... keep them in your prayers.

I got home and checked my email expecting to write an email or blog explaining the new heart I have for this ministry and instead I got some very sobering news from home. A very wonderful woman from the church in New Jersey passed away. She was someone who assured me every single time she spoke to me (I say that without exaggeration) that she was praying for me. She told me before I left that she'd pray for me as I traveled and that I'd get here safely and everything would go smoothly. I have no doubt that these things happened because of prayers like this from her and others. She asked me to email her and let her know how things were going. I regret to say I hadn't emailed her once since I've been here.... puts things in perspective. She was a friend of my mothers, the wife of my dad's friend & fellow deacon and the mother of my friend. I feel for the church in New Jersey as they lost someone who's prayers and service brought so much to that church. She will be missed, but Heaven is a home I'm sure she would never complain about entering free of health issues she had battled for years.

As I thought of my mother and the women in my church losing a friend and role model, I just began to sob. It is such a different feeling to hear news like this over an email- you feel so isolated and so alone. I can't call and say anything to my mom, or hug my sister who I know was a good friend of hers... I don't know what to say to her only son who lost a mother and a friend- what can you say from so many miles away? I thank God that I had Megan here to give me hugs and let me just cry at the feelings of guilt and sadness and sorrow for friends and family. The kids seemed concerned at seeing me cry...Emma and Caleb and Megan prayed for the Dugle family that night and the kids and Pr. James have been praying in devotions for them.

Yesterday the kids knocked on my door. Each of them had made a card, each one with something inside it. Caleb's had a tissue, “in case I cried again” he said, and a packet of kool-aid from their America stash. Emma had picked me flowers and gave me one of her necklaces, and a tissue. Sarah's had a tissue and a reeces (more from the America stash). GraceAnn's had a tissue and a twizzler. Ians had nothing inside but words of scripture- verses to encourage you in times of grief. Richard saw them giving me the cards and got very upset. “You didn't tell me it was your birthday!!” I told him it wasn't and that these were sympathy gifts because I heard some bad news from the US. He looked at me for a minute then ran off. A half hour later he showed up at my door with a necklace. He had made it out of a vine and a matchbox car. This morning I woke up and he had made me another one- he cut up a straw into tiny sections and coloured some red (he used berries to colour them) and some white and then strung them onto a vine with a picture down at the bottom. I asked Richard all day, where is Mwansa I haven't seen her and he kept saying “she is just inside”. Mwansa had spent all day sewing me a tiny pillow out of her chitenge, with a heart on the front that said “For you, Miss Kat”. Tonight she came to me again with a purse she had made for me out of the leftover cloth from the pillow. She even made a pocket on the inside “for my cellphone”. It's those kinds of things that remind you that you have family and people who love you everywhere you go. I asked her where she learned to sew and she said “I just taught myself!” Later Maureen told me she has never sewed (or made) anything ever. She said she was so encouraged to see her daughter DOING something and making things (a valuable trade in Zambia). When she said I just taught myself- she meant I JUST taught myself!

This afternoon I took the kids swimming and swam with little Grace. That girl's smile is just amazing. After that I made myself dinner- my first time REALLY cooking a meal. I started to realize all the things I had taken for granted in the states... a stove, a microwave, pantry with spices and sauces in it...shelves, cabinets, drawers... I don't even have a kitchen chair. I sit on the floor with my back against the wall or go walk around the house to my room and sit on my bed. While these are all things I have on a wish list and I want to get eventually, it's a reminder of how much you really don't NEED.

Tonight Megan and I went through the Christmas bag's for the orphans. I can not WAIT to see the kids opening their bags. It's so fun to know the kid now and think, oh she'll be so cute in that shirt or oh he'll love that book. That is most definitely something to look forward to. This will be a hard Christmas for me. My first ever away from home... a zillion miles from any family member. It will be particularly special for me to be with those kids and see them open their presents and feel like I am with my family. I hope there's chaos and singing and trading and laughing and eating and WAY too much candy all around... just like home. I was happy to see bags there for Richard and Mwansa. I want to do something nice for them and Maureen and Enock and Perjuite... Not sure what yet.

It has almost been a month since I got here. Crazy.

Ndola

What a long weekend. It feels like we were in Ndola for a week, but at the same time feels like we had no time to get anything done. On Friday night when I was packing up I started to feel a scratchy throat and some coughing. I thought it was just the dust from setting up my kitchen and bedroom. That night I didn't sleep at all... My throat felt swollen and I couldn’t swallow. I got a pounding headache and laid in bed all night just praying for sleep that never came. We left early Saturday morning and drove the 4ish hours to Ndola. Other than stopping to occasionally fix the luggage and tarp on top of the car, it was a fairly uneventful trip, thank God. I was starting to cough more and pretty much lost my voice. As soon as we got there Megan and James and some of the kids went to pick up Pr. Jim Savastio, Pr. Mark Chanski, Rick Kelley and his daughter, Grace Anne from the airport. It was so great to see Pr. Jim and Rick especially... a little taste of some people I really miss from home. Rick will be here in Lusaka for another week and a few days, and Pr. Jim will be coming Thursday after the Pastor's training is finished in Ndola.

As soon as we picked them up most of us went to go see the orphans that are sponsored through the Lion of Zambia program. They were gathered at the home of a woman named Sharon Chisala who helps with keeping track of the orphans and their needs while we are home in Lusaka. We had our introductions and I read some verses and prayed with them then we sang some songs and read letters from their sponsors in the US and UK. We then had some time to help them with writing back, and then played a game. It was a short visit but I was so grateful to be able to visit with the kids and get to know them a little better. I started failing health-wise shortly after that. We went to dinner at a nice Italian restaurant there called Michelangelo's... which was delicious. That night James, Megan, Rick and I had some time to talk and visit and I got to hear about some friends that I am missing very much back home, which made them feel a little closer. I took medicine to help me sleep since I didn't sleep the night before... but that night was the worst. I didn't sleep and I was in and out of bed and pacing... I started getting feverish, very hot then freezing but sweating... In the morning (after realizing I had trapped 3 mosquitos INSIDE my net for the night....) I thought I'd go take a shower to cool myself off and when I got up and walked down the hall I felt very dizzy and almost passed out. I made it back to the bed and then just prayed... I had promised the orphans I'd see them at church and Sunday school- and I have such a limited time in Ndola I wanted to go. So I sat up for then minutes, then stood, then walked... and finally got a shower and went to Sunday school and church.

Mark Chanski preached both sermons at the church and they were amazing... exactly what I needed to hear. I took a short nap and after the evening service I felt rejuvenated and replenished, and as an answer to prayer, much better healthwise also.

On Monday Megan, myself , Emma and Grace Anne went to shoprite and got notebooks and mealie meal (the ground maize they use to make nshima) so that we could go visit the children on this one day we had with them and fulfill at least a few needs. We had heard Saturday that some of the children were not eating so we wanted to make sure we got some food to them. It was a great opportunity to drive (with Sharon and her son, Joshua's, help) to most of the children's homes, meet their family and present them with the Mealie and the notebooks for the kids. We also had heard from two of the kids, Elias and Dyness, that they had not been feeling well so we took them to a clinic. The clinic was quite an experience... with Dyness they simply asked her what was wrong and then prescribed pills... they didn't look at her (literally) or touch her... she simply said she was sick and they gave her pills. With Elias they sent him to the lab where they pricked his finger for a drop of blood then 20 minutes later they gave him 3 bags of pills. They never talked to him, never told him what was wrong with him. (He complained of severe headaches and abdominal pain.... Dyness complained of abdominal pain and diarrhea... yet even the two of them were seen and treated differently because of “how they described their symptoms”) I went to the counter and asked the woman. What is wrong with him. Without looking at me she pointed at his “chart” which said “ TSD? Malaria. TSM...” I said I don't know what that means and she sort of shooed me along. Megan and I will be looking for a better clinic the next time we go... unfortunately we are far and have no way of researching it fully unless we are there. The sad part is most clinics are about at that level... unless you go to a much farther and much more expensive one. At this clinic it cost K1,000 for each child to be seen and receive medication and K2,000 for Elias's bloodwork. Total that's K4,000... the equivalent in American dollars? 82 cents. Let that sink in....

We also had time to go pay Lawrence's school fees and get him back into school for the rest of the term. (he has to go to a special school because of metal and behavioral issues) All in all, we got food to around 16 families, school notebooks to 23 kids, medication to two sick children and got one child back into school who hadn't been able to go. Quite a productive, and tiring day. Monday night we went to dinner at the house of one of the deacon’s of the church here in Ndola's house, a great couple who I fell in love with named Twandi and Teleka. Another deacon, David, and his wife came also and the church planter that Louisville supports, Pastor Mondestors Hakanyaga. It was good to meet him, I'd heard about him for so long. They had great food and it was a wonderful time.

This morning Megan, the baby and I flew back to Lusaka while the rest of the Williamsons, Rick and Grace Anne drove (there wasn't enough room in the car for all of us.) Everything went smoothly in all the travel this weekend... which is an amazing thing, so thank God for that.

This week I will be back to teaching just Richard and Mwansa (Emma will be spending time with Grace Anne) and working on getting my missionary work visa, since my other one was just a 30 day visa and 30 days will be up in no time. I am almost all the way settled in. (Within just a few days of not sweeping and cleaning the cockroaches and beetles and spiders have all made themselves quite comfortable on the nice cool tile and comfy bed... I came home to a half dollar sized roach on my pillow.) The joys of Africa... :)

Do insects go to church?

Today was the first day of school. It went well- it was a good day for me to get a feel for where the kids are at in terms of grade level. It will definately be a challege to say the least to get Richard and Mwansa where they need to be to pass their exams at the end of the year. They can speak and understand english 1,000 times better than they can read it- and being a written test that's a big challenge. Add math, science and social studies into the mix and it's.... well a challenge. I am definately up for it, and will have to make many adjustments as I go along I'm sure.

Richard is a firecracker to say the least. His "shy" lasted about 2 hours, as did his attention span. I looked up after reading a page in a book and he had gotten hold of my chalk and painted a white beard and white nose on himself. He then stuck the chalk down the back of his shirt like it never happened... Later we were studying bugs and the diseases they carry and he siad "Mosquitos are so bad. Do insects go to church?" I siad "Well no... there are insects in church like flies and ants, is that what you mean?" to which he said "Well I don't know... I thought if fish go to school maybe insects go to church." Emma thought this was completely reasonable and Mwansa just shook her head. It can only get crazier from here :)

I am almost at the point of moving into my house. The paint is on the wall and I've been sewing curtains for days, I need one more color for the shower room curtains.... I had forgotten about them. But the kitchen ones are finished and the bedroom ones are halfway done. It takes a while doing that much hemming by hand. I have all the major stuff I need (A hot plate, fridge, a bed and a dresser) That's all I'll be getting for now... I am hoping to get a microwave eventually. And a kitchen hutch because i currently have nowhere to put plates or dishes or dry food... but thats a lot of money....it will run me around $300.  I will definately need a fan soon which is another 100$ purchase... it's getting hot pretty quick (summer is just starting). I am trying to take things one day at a time. The tile is being laid today and tomorrow, and I shorted myself a box or two of tile to they have to get more in the morning.

I've been doing a lot of organizing and spreadsheeting for the Orphan Ministry stuff, which isn't the most exiting stuff but it's what I'm good at and it gives me a sense of accomplishment when everything is in it's right place. Lots of sickness all around here, I have been spared but Jackson, Megan, Emma, and Sarah have all been sick in one way or another for a week or so... keep them in your prayers.

Fist visit to Kabanana

 Today we went to Kabanana for the first time. We went to pick up a woman named Fanny who I will be working very closely with (and I LOVE her). She and I seem to have a similar sense of humor. We then went to the home of four children who live with their mother who is HIV+. The youngest boy, Wisdom, found out just before I came that he is HIV+. The oldest girl is Memory. She had a baby out of wedlock a few weeks ago. She is not healing and keeps having some complications and health issues (She is 20). They thought she might also have HIV but she was negative when tested. We brought them (there are two more boys, Morgan and Nathan) letters. It was so encouraging to get to see them open their letters. These are children living in the most dire circumstances being given a peice of paper and a photo from people miles and worlds away pledging to love them and care about them. One of the letters was from Debra McDearmon (She sponsors Morgan). She mentioned Greg and Hannah in the letter and I was able to tell him, "Greg is married to my sister, he is my brother in law", which conected us even more. Another letter (The one for Nathan) was from Gabe Kelley (my good friend from RBCL) After he read it, he quietly closed it up and looked at us and said. "I like him. No. .... I love him" It stuck me as so sincere and so appreciative that gabe took maybe 15 miinutes of time to send that letter and Nathan will NEVER forget opening it. I know for a fact he will read it until it disinigrates into nothing. As we sitting there the boys were speaking Bemba and Megan asked what they were saying. Fanny told us they were saying "These people are ours"... such a powerful statement. It is impossible to describe the conditions in which these people are living. I need each of you to come here, at least once because there are no words.

We took Memory (for a post-baby check up since she is having so many complications) andWisdom (too get his second HIV test... they do an initial one then a blood test to determine the kind of ARVs (HIV meds) you need.) It is so draining to sit by a little boy and pray with all your might the whole way to the clinic that his blood test comes back negative, that maybe the first test was a fluke. You feel your whole heart just yearning. In the waiting room I sat with him and asked him about school... his favorite subjects are Math and Science and English. I told him I needed him to help me with math because it was my worst subject. He considerately gave me a laugh but I looked at his bloodshot yellowish eyes and realized he had so much more on his mind... so much more than a tiny little boy should have, than math.

We also visited little Memory (a different Memory). She is an 8 year old girl who just found out she is HIV+. Her mother does not want her on any medication because it makes you hungry, and I suspect she can't afford the food, it also would mean she had to be on these meds for life. When we got there, the mother (who is seldom home, I am told) was not there and the aunt was in the shower. The aunt was described to us as an alcoholic who is pregnant and does not know the father (When asked she apparently said "I don't know...you know how these things can be"). Memory and her brother (?) Christian were sitting on the staircase and appeared to be crying but neither of them would say anything was wrong. You just want to hold them and tell them it's going to be OK but how can you say that?

I am very excited to be into this work 100%. It is hard at first when you are just getting to know the work and the people and the situation. I have alwasy been reserved at first but then once I am at the point where I know what I am doing and am comfortable there is no stopping me. I pray I get to that point soon... I don't like feeling hindered by my own uncertainness...

First Sunday

I feel 100% better today. We went to church this morning at the McDonald's farm. They are a Scottish couple who have started a mission for boys where they encourcage them to come off the streets so they stay with them and the church here sends a pastor to preach each week so that they don't have to transfer the boys every Sunday. I had a chance to sit and talk to Megan and James also this afternoon about my plans/our plans/ finances... more to come on that. Then tonight we went to the church here and I thought it was interesting that we started by reading in Ephesians 6... it was like I never left Louisville (THat's what Pr. Jim has been preaching on for weeks). And the sermon was on good hospitality and "Where there's a will, there's a way." That's my mom's favorite phrase to say. It made me feel very far away and very at home all at once. I had a chance to meet a lot of people, and finally meet Maureen also. Great Sunday.